Poor Things (2023) - Movie Review

Yorgos Lanthimos is a mad genius of filmmaking. Having managed to make a rather unexpected emergence into the mainstream off of The Favourite, which took his usually osmium-thick storytelling style and made it accessible to a larger audience, his latest feature is as much a departure from that as The Favourite was from The Killing Of A Sacred Deer. DP Robbie Ryan is still offering a peephole-view into a world that is wildly different from what we charitably consider to be ‘reality’, and writer Tony McNamara is still finding new and deliciously colourful ways to describe the most vulgar shit, but what Lanthimos has brought them together for this time around is something truly special.

Napoleon (2023) - Movie Review

Much like with Killers Of The Flower Moon, we’ll be looking at another instance of an auteur digging into Apple’s deep pockets to realise their historical epic. Even ignoring the lengthy discrepancies concerning initial box office impact and overall cultural impact, I can only see the notion of a great filmmaker creating great art while also putting a dent into a company that, quite frankly, is rich enough already, as a net positive. Although, I’ll admit that in the case of this film, said positive isn’t quite as strong as Scorsese’s.

Killers Of The Flower Moon (2023) - Movie Review

After what happened when I looked at The Irishman, I don’t want to belabour the point about having issues with films with longer run times. Or, to be more accurate, I don’t want to spend most of this review bitching about my attention span issues as if that’s the fault of the filmmakers. I’ll admit that there are nuances to the binge-watching vs. epic film argument that both sides tend to leave out, but after putting a near-three-hour film at the top of my favourite films list for last year (not to mention finally getting around to the Extended Editions of the Lord Of The Rings trilogy earlier this year), I want to give this film an honest chance that isn’t hindered by my own twitchiness. Or my ongoing indifference towards most Westerns.

Babylon (2023) - Movie Review

Damien Chazelle might be the single most self-confident filmmaker working in Hollywood right now. No matter how idealistic (the grand romantic tones in La La Land), or familiar (the story of Apollo 11 in First Man), or just downright goofy (the colourful string of expletives in the script for Whiplash) his ideas get, there’s never an inkling that he’s meeting any of it halfway. And even when I find myself on the wrong side of some of those aspects, I’ve been unable to deny that there’s a certain infectious quality to how much conviction the man pours into each of his directorial efforts thus far. But his latest seems to be the ultimate test for that methodology, as we’ve gone from a film that would merely benefit from that much confidence behind the camera, to a film that outright requires it to work even slightly.

Bardo, False Chronicle Of A Handful Of Truths (2022) - Movie Review

Alejandro G. Iñarritu, who we last checked in with way back at the start of 2016 with The Revenant, now joins Branagh, Gray, and Spielberg in releasing a film this year that comes with a heavy dose of autobiography. I can understand how wanky this can come across to some people, having a filmmaker devote so many hours to their own story (with varying degrees of varnish), but as an auteurist, there’s something I find quite fascinating about these kinds of productions. They take the idea of film as a personal form of art (ignoring how each and every film is the result of collaboration in one form or another) about as far as it can go while still being in the context of a work of fiction. And with this film, we find the director… well, in a pretty dark place.

RRR (2022) - Movie Review

It has been way, way, way too long since I reviewed a Indian film. Over five years, from what I can tell, from a time when I used to look at them fairly frequently. I don’t really have a reason for why, as my local cinema shows plenty of Hindi-, Tamil-, and Telugu-language cinema; I guess I have just taken to prioritising English-language cinema. And as much as I could fluff a reason for why that is, to do with difficulties in reading other people’s emotions and language barriers and other such things… yeah. Maybe I just need to reintroduce them back into my regular media diet. Especially if the region is capable of something like this.

The Woman King (2022) - Movie Review

Films like this make me kinda nervous as far as writing what I actually think about them. Yeah, there’s my previously-mentioned insecurity when it comes to discussing stories and ideas connected to Black cultures, which I genuinely think I’ve dropped the ball on around here a number of times, but there’s also the historical side of things as well. Long before this film saw release over here in Australia, it came under heavy controversy for its historical inaccuracies, to the extent that it airbrushed the involvement of Dahomey, the West African nation that the film is centred on, in the Atlantic slave trade.

Now, whenever dealing with films based on historical events, I tend to lean on the side of “this is a film, not a documentary” when processing what’s on-screen. I often feel like I’m stretching my abilities when talking cinema as is (hello imposter syndrome, my old friend), let alone feigning knowledge about history that I do not possess, outside of some light Googling out of sheer curiosity; this should not be mistaken for a lengthy education on such things. Between that and the regularity with which cinema, particularly in the mainstream, glosses over the messier parts of the subject matter, I don’t feel comfortable judging it on those standards. I especially don’t like the idea of a film like this being put under some ‘model minority’ scrutiny bollocks, where it’s expected to do better than those whose diversions tend to fly under the radar more times than not.

So, what I’m going to do with this film is to discuss it and analyse it as is. While I have done a bit of looking-into concerning the real-world history being shown (and yes, it is a lot to deal with), I am only going to be talking about what is in the film itself. Partly because of my aforementioned reluctance about judging films on anything greater than that, but also because I’m hoping to surprise at least one reader as far as what is actually in the film that everyone and their dog(whistle) is talking about.

The Northman (2022) - Movie Review

After two certified winners with The VVitch and The Lighthouse, writer/director Robert Eggers has cracked his artistic ambitions wide open with his latest. Shedding his New England aesthetics like a snakeskin, he now sets the stage for an epic historical revenge myth, co-written by himself and Icelandic scribe Sjón and itself based on the Scandinavian legend of Amleth. Yes, for the classics nerds amongst my readership, this is the same legend that inspired fellow classics nerd William Shakespeare in the creation of Hamlet. This film is the culmination of just about every storytelling idea and mood Eggers has been chipping away at over his career thus far, and what results from that is a production that redefines the word ‘visceral’.

The Green Knight (2021) - Movie Review

I’m a bit apprehensive about looking at this one. Partly because the last time I reviewed a David Lowery film on here, things didn’t exactly go to plan, but also because, since I still have The Last Duel firmly implanted in my head, I get the feeling I won’t be as open to the more romanticised version of the knights of legend as I might’ve been otherwise. At least, that was my thought process going into this. Having now seen it, it actually fits in surprisingly well alongside that kind of grand deconstruction of the trope, only with a slightly different bent to it. Where The Last Duel was about the grim reality behind those who so readily claimed to live under those ideals, The Green Knight contrasts that reality with the prospect of becoming a legend that embodies those ideals.

The Last Duel (2021) - Movie Review

I haven’t really gotten into this in past reviews of his work, but I have a serious admiration for the work of Ridley Scott. When he’s on point, he is capable of some of the greatest works that the medium has to offer, whether it’s Alien, Blade Runner, or (personal pick here) Hannibal. But even in his lesser films, there is always something in his productions that I just have to point to as being objectively brilliant.

Exodus: Gods and Kings? Yeah, that wasn’t great, but the casting for God was ingenious. Prometheus and Alien: Covenant? Michael Fassbender’s David is one of the most fascinating cinematic characters of the entire 2010s, even if those films didn’t make full use of him. Even All In The Money In The World, which I seem to be in the minority on as I found it quite inconsistent, has Christopher Plummer giving the performance of a lifetime that held everything together. The man’s talent shines through no matter what he’s working on, so regardless of how this turns out, I’ve been looking forward to it all the same.

Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021) - Movie Review

So… yeah, it’s been pretty quiet around here lately. A lot of shit has happened over the past few months (in addition to the longer parade of shit that has happened over the last two years), and between everything happening in the real world and the drastic changes taking place within the film world… I gotta be honest, it’s not a particularly fun time to be writing about movies. I’ve been wrestling with quarantine brain for a while now, struggling to delve back into this profession that I have devoted so many years of my life to pursuing. Every time I thought I had bounced back, the malaise would resurface and I’d be stuck back in the same pit of inactivity.

But no more, I say. It is long past time for things to get back to normal (or whatever qualifies as “normal” around here), and to get things back into gear, I’ve decided to return with a rather unusual feature. I don’t usually make the time to review director’s cuts around here, but this is a once-in-a-lifetime example of such things.

The Iron Mask (2020) - Movie Review

I feel like I need to put a massive ‘citation needed’ graphic on that poster because it is all kinds of misleading. They stunt-casted this movie twice over, as while Arnie and Jackie Chan are indeed in this, they are absent from roughly 85% of this two-hour feature (And on a minor note, Charles Dance is in even less of the film than them). Not that it stops just there, though; even the title isn’t accurate. Aside from being labelled in other markets as Journey To China, and the subtitle 'Mystery Of The Dragon Seal' shows up sporadically on different posters as well, it is also a sequel to the 2014 Russian film Viy, with its main character (played by English actor Jason Flemyng) returning here as the lead… kind of. If you thought all of this was confusing enough, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

The Irishman (2019) - Movie Review

Bear with me while I finish up pouring gasoline on myself, because apparently there’s no way I can make it easier to cop backlash for what I’m about to put down on paper. I would so very dearly prefer for this not to turn into part of the larger discourse concerning Martin Scorsese and his opinions on the modern state of blockbuster cinema, but because line-drawing is all kinds of easy, I feel like reviewing this movie is only going to further embroil me in a conversation that, to be honest, is kind of killing my enthusiasm to discuss movies. I’m firmly in the ‘don’t make judgement calls on other people’s tastes in fiction’ camp, and considering my continuing showings of praise for comic book movies around here, I want to make all of this perfectly clear before I deliver the big news. Martin Scorsese’s latest… I’m just not feeling it.

Avengers: Endgame (2019) - Movie Review

Well… here we are. After 11 years, 21 films, over 18 billion dollars in box office receipts and twice as many geekgasms, we have reached the finale of this chapter of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It’s been a long journey, and while part of me is excited for what's in store for this finale, there's still a lingering problem here: How in the actual fuck am I supposed to write a review for this thing?

Avengers: Infinity War (2018) - Movie Review

The plot: After many long years of planning and machination, the alien despot Thanos (Josh Brolin) is ready to initiate his ultimate plan: Gather all of the Infinity Stones and, with their combined power, wipe out half of all life in the universe. As he and his lieutenants make their way to Earth, where most of the Stones now reside, the now-scattered Avengers have to reunite and, with the help of the Guardians Of The Galaxy, stop Thanos from decimating the universe.

Ben-Hur (2016) - Movie Review

Ben-Hur, the 1959 cinematic epic, is widely regarded as one of the greatest films ever made. It is also three-and-a-half hours long, so between my disliking of overlong cinema and general attention span issues in general, I haven’t gotten around to watching it yet and I’m not even sure if I will. Yeah, I may do my background research where I can, but even I have limits. Not to say that I haven’t seen bits of it over time, just never in its entirety. As such, I’ll be going into this as most young filmgoers of today would and take this as its own work. So, now that it doesn’t exactly have a pre-existing impression of the story to live up to, how is it?

Warcraft (2016) - Movie Review

With every passing season, there is a video game movie released to cinemas. Likewise, there is also a flood of people declaring it the worst yet because it seems that the Internet filters out any semblance of perspective and leaves only the bile. While there is some precedent to the notion, as video game adaptations have a pretty failure rate with only one or two notable exceptions (and even then, those are often contested), I will try and let the film speak for itself on this one. I’ll be forced to do so anyway, as Warcraft is a franchise that I have very limited experience with. I vaguely remember playing Warcraft III in a few LAN parties in high school, and of course World Of Warcraft helped give us one of the best South Park episodes ever with Make Love, Not Warcraft, but other than that I’m going into this as I’m sure a lot of filmgoers are: As a casual observer. But even with that in mind, is this film as bad as its already prominent reputation has decreed? This is Warcraft.

In The Heart Of The Sea (2015) - Movie Review

Moby Dick, much like The Great Gatsby and Homer’s Odyssey, is in the great pantheon of books that you must read before anyone takes you seriously as an adult human… apparently. More importantly, it’s also one of the few literary works that helped turn Khan Noonien Singh into an obsessed psychopath; reason enough to avoid it, I reckon. All the same, it’s in that canon with good reason, since the term “white whale” has become ingrained in the human lexicon and Captain Ahab has been made synonymous with any fictional character in the grips of deep obsession. As such, a film about the purported real-life story that inspired that famous tale is going to be worth at least a gander. Then again, in terms of films about the stories behind the myth, the director this time round doesn’t have the best track record. So, before he resumes work on his next Dan Brown adaptation, let’s look into Ron Howard’s latest epic.

The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies (2014) - Movie Review

 

Peter Jackson may serve as one of the greatest cinematic success stories in recent memory: From his humble beginnings with bat-shit insane cult films like Bad Taste, Meet The Feebles and Braindead, he went on to craft himself as a directing legend through his adaptation of the Lord Of The Rings trilogy, making himself one of the most critically and financially successful filmmakers of all time. Not only that, Weta Digital, a special effects company co-founded by Jackson himself, has also become a powerhouse in Hollywood due to their work on the LOTR films and have gone on to do SFX work for films like Avatar, The Avengers and the Planet Of The Apes reboot series. Today’s film marks the end of an era, as after 13 years and over a thousand minutes of screen time, this is the (supposed) final film Peter Jackson will make based on the works of J.R.R. Tolkien.