It is a common thesis that the collective idea of Hell that
is eternal flames may not be the case. More likely, we all craft our realms of
Hell based on that which we most despise. Well, if that does end up being the
case when I ultimately shift this mortal coil, I and all other devotees of
cinema will be stuck in a cramped and humid theatre forever watching the
ceaseless torment that is the complete works of Jason Friedberg and Aaron
Seltzer. Otherwise known as the infamous duo behind the ____ Movies (Date
Movie, Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, etc.), these are often in the discussion for
the worst filmmakers of all time and with very
good reason. Their own special brand of ‘parody’ consists of time capsule pop
culture references that make sure that they become outdated even as they are
being filmed, as well as teenage pandering with M-rated fanservice and low-brow
gags. Actually, I take that last one back, because referring to these hacks as
being “low-brow” would diminish the work of people like Trey Parker and Matt
Stone who make low-brow jokes that are actually fucking funny! Good God, I
am looking forward to this like the prospect of actually going to Hell, only
without the sense of theological confirmation that would come with it. Abandon
all hope, ye who enter here.
