Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery (2022) - Movie Review

In response to the myriad of fan theories about the secret meanings behind the Beatles’ music (backmasking, “Paul is dead”, that kind of shit), John Lennon wrote the song Glass Onion, which would be included on the group’s self-titled White Album. It’s basically a troll set to music, referencing other Beatles songs to give fuel to the people who think that they intentionally put in all these cryptic messages in their art... when in reality, it meant pretty much fuck-all. Many layers, but all of them see-through right down to the core: a glass onion.

Hotel Transylvania 3: A Monster Vacation (2018) - Movie Review

The plot: Lonely and overworked, Dracula (Adam Sandler) needs to take a break. Luckily, his daughter Mavis (Selena Gomez) gets tickets for them and the rest of the Drac Pack to go on a luxury cruise just for monsters. As they indulge in some down time, it seems that Dracula may have found what he's looking for in the ship's captain Ericka (Kathryn Hahn). However, it seems that this cruise isn't all that it seems, and Dracula's old adversary Dr. Van Helsing (Jim Gaffigan) lays in wait to wreak his revenge on all monsters.

Bad Moms 2 (2017) - Movie Review

 

For as much derision as the practice gets, I don’t have any major issue with the whole sequel/franchise/cinematic universe thing in Hollywood. I find it interesting to see what films hold up to the original, and I’m always surprised to see films that manage to exceed what came before it like John Wick: Chapter 2 and Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2. Today’s film, however, is of a brand that does make me tilt my head. It was a little over a year ago that I looked the first Bad Moms, a film that I still think people didn’t give enough credit to for the kind of film it was. Having this little amount of time between instalments is usually the sign of a cash-in “let’s just repeat what we did before” sequel. Combine that with this being a Christmas film released in November, because doing it in December would’ve made too much sense, and this has a high probability of being less-than-adequate.

 

Still, given how impressed I was with the first film and seeing how some equally impressive cinematic follow-ups this year, I’m holding onto some hope that this might be decent. For once, I will not be pleased if I’m proven wrong.

Bad Moms (2016) - Movie Review

As of the last few months, I live with a mother of three little brats between 3-5 years old. Every morning, usually very early on, the screams wake us up and, quite frankly, magic starts to happen. I say that because, for as loud and 'seriously, it’s still too early for this stuff' as they get, their mother shows an almost superhuman level of patience. It is genuinely remarkable to see a mother in her element, as it is most certainly something I could never hope to have the tolerance for at any time. You’ve seen already how badly I react to films I don’t like; you don’t want to see how I am with people of any age who annoy me. But of course, much like their mother, I love those kids just as much as she does; probably helps that what I didn't mention earlier was that the mother that I live with is in fact my mother, and the brats my little brothers. I help out my mother as best I can with them, but it does take a certain natural skill to be able to do this sort of thing day in, day out. It is because of this that, despite a very obvious biological difference between myself and what is meant to be the target audience for today’s film, I somehow get the feeling that I will be able to relate somewhat to how a mother would interpret such a feature. At least, as best as I am capable of doing.

The Visit (2015) - Movie Review

M. Night Shyamalan is one of those directors that it’s safe to dislike, given his most recent output. I mean, sure, The Sixth Sense has one of the most culturally-ingrained twist endings of all time and Unbreakable continues to be a cult classic, but nothing he’s been attached to since even comes close to that. Whether it’s the masterpiece of unintentional comedy that is The Happening, the fan betraying mockery of The Last Airbender, the vanity hack job of After Earth or even the mass of misguided ideas in Devil, Shyamalan has turned from one of the most promising filmmakers in Hollywood into an utter laughing stock. However, even with how horrendous the aforementioned films could get, I still can’t help but feel sorry for the guy after all this time and just hope that he can stage a comeback one of these days. So, when news of this film hit and apparently audiences in the U.S. were starting to warm up to him again, maybe there’s a chance that he has found a way to crawl out of the shite-encrusted mire he’s dug himself into. This is The Visit.