Elvis (2022) - Movie Review

Baz Luhrmann. The Aussie king of camp. The Man from Showy River.

I don’t like Baz Luhrmann’s films.

His woeful adaptation of The Great Gatsby marks the first time I ever left a cinema actually angry at having wasted my time and money on a particular film. Romeo + Juliet was the first time a specific adaptation choice (the whole ‘Sword-branded guns’ thing) actively annoyed me. Australia was the first time I discovered how much test screenings can interfere with the creative process in rather peculiar ways (i.e. The Drover was originally meant to die, but test audiences didn’t want to see that happen to Hugh Jackman, so… that changed).

Yeah, he’s responsible for a lot of personal milestones, and none of them positive. The man’s insistence on absolute bombast constantly gets between him and whatever the hell point he thinks he’s making in his films, and even as someone who enjoys the patently ridiculous, Baz keeps testing my patience in just how loud he plays every aspect of his films.

But even with all of that in mind, one thing I have always maintained, alongside my utter contempt for the bulk of the man’s filmography (Australia and The Great Gatsby are easily on the shortlist for worst films I’ve ever seen, period), is that he is talented. He knows how to put a film together, he’s a properly unique voice in Australian cinema, and for as much as I personally can’t stand his work, I can at least understand why others would. Hell, I’ll even give him credit for Strictly Ballroom, which is a genuinely good film and something of a mission statement for Baz’s entire career to follow: Play to the crowds, don’t worry about the committees. It’s just that, with everything since Strictly Ballroom, that talent has been squandered on increasingly misguided and frequently exasperating storytelling decisions.

Suffice to say, I wasn’t really looking forward to his latest release. I may be growing more and more comfortable with lengthier films, but considering how much I just can’t with this guy to begin with, sitting down for a near-three hour presentation is one of those moments when this job of mine actually feels like work. Or, at least, that’s what I was expecting. In what is raring to be the biggest surprise of 2022 (pleasant ones, at least), this is the first Baz Luhrmann film I’ve genuinely enjoyed since Strictly Ballroom.

H Is For Happiness (2020) - Movie Review

Well, this sounds familiar: A precocious red-headed girl with unrelenting optimism and a ‘unique’ perspective on the world sets out to basically fix everything around her. Even as someone with a higher-than-usual tolerance for this brand of family-friendly content (chalk that up to growing up with Mara Wilson as Matilda, I guess), there’s something inherently strained about sitting through a story where children have a greater vocabulary and emotional range than the adults. It’s the kind of thing that normally smacks of wish fulfillment for adults more than anything else, letting the older writer(s) live out their own fantasy of how they wish children acted in the real world. But then there are films like this, which undeniably fit into this niche but also feel wholly singular to themselves.

Go! (2020) - Movie Review

Well, this sounds familiar: An Aussie sporting movie designed for general audiences that not only focuses on a particularly niche sport, but is also drenched in classic sports movie clichés. Okay, it only sound familiar to me, as I covered a film like this years ago with Paper Planes (which, fittingly enough, has the same writer working on this one), and that film I wound up liking a lot more than I had any reason to on pure kitsch value. I’d like to say the same for this one, but for reasons both good and bad, this is a different beast than trying to make paper aeroplanes seem exciting.

Maya The Bee: The Honey Games (2018) - Movie Review

The plot: After an unfortunate encounter with the Empress of Buzztropolis (Marney McQueen), country bee Maya (Coco Jack Gillies) is given an ultimatum: Unless she can beat the Buzztropolis team at the upcoming Honey Games, the Empress will take all of the honey from Maya's hive. Teaming up with her best friend Willy (Benson Jack Anthony) and a group of bugs from her home in Poppy Meadow, they will have to work together if they want to save the hive.

Breath (2018) - Movie Review

The plot: Younger surfers Pikelet (Samson Coulter) and Loonie (Ben Spence), always seeking the thrill of the waves, make a connection with older surfer Sando (Simon Baker) and his wife Eva (Elizabeth Debicki), who teach them the ways of the world and how, while it may be risky, some risks are worth taking.

Hacksaw Ridge (2016) - Movie Review

In no uncertain terms, I don’t have the will nor the intestinal fortitude to ever consider joining the military. I’m a proper soft lefty that sees all life as sacred and not worth ending over what are usually rather petty squabbles, and the very thought of killing another person for any reason makes me incredibly uneasy. However, that doesn’t mean that I hold any ill will towards those who fight in my place. I may have my issues with the higher-ups who send them out, usually for the reasons why certain governments see fit to get involved in war, but I have nothing but respect for those who do the fighting themselves. Not that cinema seems to share that respect, though, as more times than not, modern military cinema goes for the murky and moralistic approach that is meant to make us question just whose lives are being affected, be it through death or otherwise. So, with noted firebrand Mel Gibson returning to the director’s chair, how does today’s war film turn out?

Blinky Bill: The Movie (2015) - Movie Review

In the canon of iconic Australian children’s television, there’s a lot more to us than Skippy the Kangaroo; hell, I still haven’t seen an episode of that show and I’ve lived here all my life. You’ve got the surreal and boundary-pushing morality tales of Round The Twist, the endlessly imitated artistry of Mr. Squiggle and the latest addition to the CGI hostile takeover Bananas In Pyjamas, just to name a few. Amongst this collection of oddities is the hallmark animation franchise Blinky Bill, a series of adaptations of the Dorothy Wall book series about a mischievous koala bear and his friends; yeah, it turns some stereotypes surrounding Australia ended up being true.

Brought to the big and small screens by the Aussie Don Bluth Yoram Gross, it made for a very environmentally-vivid part of many a childhood including my own. I still remember a competition at my primary school where I won a stuffed kangaroo because I knew one of the character’s names off-by-heart. Of course, considering the aforementioned decline of the dressed bananas, is this character capable of surviving in today’s Cartoon Network-influenced market? Time to find out with this latest cinematic iteration of the series.

Maya The Bee Movie (2014) - Movie Review

Starting this habit of seeing every movie available to me has been simultaneously the best and worst idea I’ve ever had. Best because it’s given me a chance to see movies I wouldn’t normally check out and broadening my cinematic horizons; Worst because it frequently puts me into weird positions of being incredibly out of place amongst the audiences for some movies. Today’s film represents one of those situations, where I’m the only guy in the cinema who doesn’t have a child watching the movie with him.