Maleficent: Mistress Of Evil (2019) - Movie Review

2019 will likely go down as the year where Disney stretched too far, and I’m not just talking about their ever-growing monopoly on modern Western entertainment. What started out as interesting experiments to redefine their stable of animated classics (or, more likely, extend their copyright holding for said stories) has truly devolved into a collection of repeated and bewildering mistakes. Of the three that made it to cinemas this year, only one of them left me with anything positive to say, and even then, it has paled considerably since I first reviewed it.

The Lion King (2019) - Movie Review

This has been quite a year for Disney revamping its classic properties. Alongside sequels to their genuine classics like Mary Poppins Returns and Toy Story 4, 2019 has also marked the year where they have given us not one but three remakes/retoolings of some of their older works. We started with the surprisingly strong Dumbo that basically took Disney itself to task for its business practices, and then we had the astoundingly shite Aladdin which can rest easily among Disney’s worst productions ever. And now, we have a remake of the perennial favourite Lion King, with the director of the quite fantastic Jungle Book remake returning for another bit of photorealistic animal shenanigans. The end result, however, is… well, it’s certainly not the worst to come out of this trend, but it is easily the most pointless.

Sherlock Gnomes (2018) - Movie Review

Gnomeo & Juliet is an absolute mess. While aided somewhat by its genuinely solid animation and a pretty choice voice cast, it feels like a Murphy’s Law situation where literally every bad decision possible was made around them. From the insanely ill-fitted soundtrack to the egregious puns to the incredibly snide attitude it carried towards its source material, it can easily stand as one of the worst family films I’ve ever sat through, if not one of the worst full stop. Because money is the root of all things unnecessary, and the original made plenty of bank at the box office, we for some reason have been given a sequel. While I struggle to figure what precisely this film is at its core, it is still a marked improvement in all the important regards.

Mary Magdalene (2018) - Movie Review

The plot: In 1st century C.E., Jewish woman Mary Magdalene (Rooney Mara) is stuck in a society that treats her existence as inherently lesser than the closest man, not to mention the oppression of her people by the Roman Empire. However, she soon connects with the prophet Jesus (Joaquin Phoenix), who along with his Apostles seem fit to change all that. As they travel the cities, spreading their gospel of forgiveness, it seems that salvation will come in a form that none of them could have ever predicted.

Doctor Strange (2016) - Movie Review

It’s Marvel time again and, while not quite as problematic as Civil War, we are once again dealing with a rather tricky bit of comic book adaptation history. We’re furthering our way into Phase 3 of the Cinematic Universe with an origin for yet another superhero who doesn’t exactly have the best on-screen history. Way back during the days of the Bill Bixby Incredible Hulk TV show, Stan Lee and CBS attempted to kick-start a Doctor Strange series to run alongside Hulk and The Amazing Spider-Man. Needless to say, it didn’t end well and the series wasn’t picked up for glaringly obvious reasons. However, unlike Spidey and the Hulk, this was the first and, up until now, only live-action appearance; there isn’t any form of reputable precedent for this one. Say what you will about Guardians Of The Galaxy, at least that film was able to completely blindside audiences thanks to a complete lack of mainstream recognition. Strange, on the other hand? Not so much. This may be one of the bigger tests of Marvel’s uncanny ability for consistent quality standards, even more so than the talking raccoon who is best friends with a talking tree.

Triple 9 (2016) - Movie Review

For the average filmgoer (going purely by my own experiences pre-Critic), the most common conversation to spring up when it comes to what film they decide to go see goes something like this:

"Hey, [famous Oscar-winning actor] is in this new movie? Wanna go?"
"Nah, I don’t like that guy that much. How about that new [lesser-known but still popular actor] movie?"
"How about [obscure actor that you mention only to appear cooler to your peers because you seemingly know something that they don’t]? She’s got a new movie out."

Okay, maybe that last one only happens when the filmgoer in question is talking to someone like me, but point still stands: Unless you’re someone who takes the time to look into who and/or what is behind the newest releases, it’s usually the cast list that takes precedent. But what happens when said film has an ensemble cast of actors that, hopefully, will end up causing debate over whose film it truly is. Of course, that’s usually the case with good films involving star-studded casts. Too bad we haven’t got one of those today, unfortunately.

Secret In Their Eyes (2015) - Movie Review

  

The big contributor to how and why a lot of actors get typecast into certain roles is that, for better or for worse, said actors work really damn well in those particular roles. Martin Freeman will always be seen as the English everyman who gets thrown into extraordinary circumstances because he has built a healthy pedigree on those roles thanks to The Office and The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, among others; Patrick Stewart is the elderly mentor figure for a rag-tag team in a sci-fi setting that is meant to save worlds on numerous occasions; Jai Courtney can’t be anything more than a red flag that the film you’re about to sit through isn’t going to work, etc. That last one may seem unfair, and yeah I have made fun of him a lot more than I probably should, but the fact remains that even real-life events can affect how a person can become typecast. And no, I don’t just mean John McEnroe being irate in every TV and film appearance he’s had. I’m talking more about how Julia Roberts has developed a reputation for more than a little egotistical and kind of crazed, and then the trailer for today’s film shows her as a psychotic breakdown waiting to happen. Sometimes, casting perfectly aligns on certain productions. This is Secrets In Their Eyes.

The Martian (2015) - Movie Review

To paraphrase one of the more boisterous names in space exploration: “Space: the final frontier”. However, something that is becoming clearer and clearer with every day since that phrase was first uttered is that space will always be the final frontier. Unlike our home planet, there is an infinite amount of, well, space outside of our atmosphere and it is expanding every second. The distance between points of interest (stars, planets, space fog, etc.) is occupied by a vacuum that seems to exist at the exact opposite of our ideal living conditions, and that’s if we even have a vessel that can stay in one piece during all that travel.

Is it any wonder, with all this in mind, that space travel and exploration is frequently used as the setting for dramas and thrillers? Sure, space combat will always be enticing, but the thought of how claustrophobic, hazardous and ultimately liberating leaving Earth for greener pastures can be has produced some truly amazing works of art, particularly in the realm of cinema. So, when director Ridley Scott decided to return to the cold void that yielded him a bona fide sci-fi classic with Alien (and a modest success with Prometheus), how did it turn out considering his last cinematic venture?

12 Years A Slave (2014) - Movie Review

While the film season in the U.S. sees January/February as the dumping ground for the previous year’s leftovers, it’s the complete opposite case in Australia. The beginning of the year marks Oscar season, the time when all the big awards contenders that haven’t already been released are brought to the masses en masse. Since my recent cinematic compulsion began a few months after that season, I unfortunately missed more than a few of them. As my inevitable year-end lists would be conspicuously incomplete without mention of such films, I plan on using my new-found extra time to look back and see as many of these as possible before the New Year. As such, what better way to start than with one of the biggest critical darlings of that season? This is 12 Years A Slave.