City Of Lies (2020) - Movie Review

In the greater mythology of hip-hop, there are few events that serve as true turning points for the culture as much as the untimely death of Biggie Smalls and Tupac Shakur. Partly because of how publicised their living beef was, partly because their deaths made for an argument to turn mainstream hip-hop down a more peaceful direction (Will Smith breaking out on his solo career in the wake of that is no coincidence), and partly because it embodies the inner workings of myth in that we’re still not entirely sure what really happened. They were both gunned down within a short amount of time of each other, and it remains one of the greater unsolved mysteries of the culture, up there with the anxious waiting for Detox to drop before Dr. Dre stopped edging his audience and admitted it wouldn't happen.

Sherlock Gnomes (2018) - Movie Review

Gnomeo & Juliet is an absolute mess. While aided somewhat by its genuinely solid animation and a pretty choice voice cast, it feels like a Murphy’s Law situation where literally every bad decision possible was made around them. From the insanely ill-fitted soundtrack to the egregious puns to the incredibly snide attitude it carried towards its source material, it can easily stand as one of the worst family films I’ve ever sat through, if not one of the worst full stop. Because money is the root of all things unnecessary, and the original made plenty of bank at the box office, we for some reason have been given a sequel. While I struggle to figure what precisely this film is at its core, it is still a marked improvement in all the important regards.

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald (2018) - Movie Review

J.K. Rowling has an interesting approach to the lore of her own stories. In the rather hefty gap between Deathly Hallows and the theatrical debut of The Cursed Child, she kept on adding little bits and pieces to the characters of one of the most beloved childhood franchises. From Dumbledore's sexuality to Hagrid’s mental health, it seemed like she needed the Fantastic Beasts films to happen, if only to provide an outlet for all the things she never found time to squeeze in before. It's like she's writing her own fanfiction.

Murder On The Orient Express (2017) - Movie Review

Kenneth Branagh, when all is said and done, is a filmmaker who operates best in the realm of adaptation. Starting out by bringing some of Shakespeare’s greatest stories to the big screen in roaring fashion, right down to what has become the definitive version of Hamlet (all four hours of it), he has since gone on to give the same treatment to operas, spy thriller novels, superheroes, even Disney princesses. The respective qualities of each of those examples definitely differs, but I would argue that the man always manages to leave an impression on whatever genre he decides to take on. Today marks yet another new avenue for the man, this time delving into a murder mystery adapted from legendary writer Agatha Christie. Do we see the little grey cells go off in Branagh’s head once again, or are they sitting this one out?

Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017) - Movie Review

Pirates Of The Caribbean is the classic tale of a studio wanting to make a film based one of their most successful theme park attractions that, through one of the single greatest casting decisions in the history of the medium, became one of Hollywood’s hottest properties… at first. It seems that, between the increasing goofiness of the stories being told combined with the increased budgetary requirements (The third and fourth installments in the franchise currently hold the top two spots for the most expensive films ever made), interest in the series is starting to wane. Hell, while I found quite a bit to like about Stranger Tides, it did give the impression that this is a franchise that is starting to beach itself.

 

So, with another spin of the director’s chair and a few returning faces in the cast, maybe this will rejuvenate the series back to its former glory. While I fiddle around with my Blogger settings to make a large enough font to put enough emphasis on the word “maybe”, let’s get started with today’s offering.

Yoga Hosers (2016) - Movie Review

Kevin Smith is one of my all-time favourite filmmakers. His scripting ability when it comes to character and universe-building, especially with his earlier View Askew material, has made for some famous pop culture moments and his knack for using his own life and his own experiences as inspiration for his writing has resulted in some shockingly poignant films under his belt. From his examination into faith and theology with Dogma, to his treatise on sexual politics with Chasing Amy, right down to his iconic depiction of working class perspectives with Clerks, the man garners plenty of respect in these parts. I even got the chance to see him live during one of his infamous live Q&As here in Australia, which ranks up there as one of the more inspirational live shows I’ve gone to because of how much I look up to the guy. Hell, his last film Tusk was one of the first I ever reviewed on this blog and I still stand by every word that I wrote there, in spite of the film’s generally lukewarm reception. So, as a massive Smith fanboy, I was genuinely excited about today’s subject, again in spite of less-than-ideal reviews. I’ll try and keep my biases out of it as best I can, but I make no promises.

Alice Through The Looking Glass (2016) - Movie Review

Whether it was listening to the original book on cassette tapes, watching the 1999 TV film version with Whoopi Goldberg as the Cheshire Cat or even playing Alice: Madness Returns back in high school, I have a very ingrained appreciation for the story of Alice’s trip down the rabbit hole into a world where pretty much nothing makes sense. As much as the more logical parts of my brain would like to say otherwise, this appreciation extends to the 2010 film by Tim Burton. It’s one of those rare films where I legitimately don’t care about the plot inconsistencies, of which there are plenty to be found there, and I’m willing to bet that my already-admitted fanboyism for Burton’s work has got something to do with it. Nevertheless, I liked the first film which means that I was probably the only person on Earth who wanted to see a sequel to it, which I also was... initially, at least. Am I going to defend this film as well, or am I going to join the crowd?

Black Mass (2015) - Movie Review

Dollars to donuts, there isn’t a single actor working today who has the range of Johnny Depp. True, his work with Tim Burton may result in people forgetting this pretty damn easily, but seriously think about it: Edward Scissorhands, Jack Sparrow, Ed Wood, Raoul Duke, Guy LaPointe; even after seeing him in all these roles, I still find it difficult to believe that they’re all done by the same guy. Hell, even when he’s in absolute dreck like Mortdecai, he can still lose himself in a role. But, regardless of all of this, there’s still that Burton stigma to deal with: The pale, depressed and darkly-tinged loner, a role that has probably resulted in doing the both of them more harm than good of late. It’s with all this in mind that I look at today’s film, Depp’s latest foray into the world of American gangsters since Michael Mann’s Public Enemies, with cautious optimism. Do we get another character for the sizzle reel, or is it another stock (for Depp) performance that will have audiences reeling from their seats in droves?

Mortdecai (2015) - Movie Review

You’d be hard-pressed to find a more versatile actor working today than Johnny Depp. Yeah, he’ll have a couple of auto-pilot roles like in The Tourist with Angelina Jolie, but when he’s on-point he can transform himself on screen: Jack Sparrow, Edward Scissorhands, Willy Wonka, Ed Wood, even Guy Lapointe; say what you will about the quality of the writing for each of these roles, and it is varied between them no doubt, but these alone show the kind of range that some actors would give all their Golden Globes to get. But even the best of actors can appear in duds; how does he follow up his spellbindingly bizarre performance as Lapointe in Tusk?

Into The Woods (2014) - Movie Review

The plot: A baker (James Corden) and his wife (Emily Blunt) have been cursed by a witch (Meryl Streep) so that they can never have children. In order to stop the curse, they need to retrieve four items: A cow as white as milk, a hood as red as blood, hair as yellow as corn and a slipper as pure as gold; but in order to collect them, they run into some rather familiar characters.

Tusk (2014) - Movie Review

When I first got interested in reviewing movies back in 2010, I decided to cut my teeth on a little film called The Human Centipede. I reviewed it no less than three times that same year: Once as a blog, once as an assignment for high school Drama (which I got decent marks for), then again as an 'improved' blog on the same site as the original. Now, while I freely admit that giving that much effort to a movie as meme-y as 'Centipede' was a mistake, I also admit that I'm glad that I chose it to start with and after having seen today's movie, Kevin Smith's 'Tusk', I feel even better about that decision.