Resistance (2020) - Movie Review

Jesse Eisenberg’s casting in this, on paper, sounds like a gag. An actor whose screen persona can be best described as ‘neurotic who never knows when to shut the fuck up’, cast as the world’s most famous mime artist Marcel Marceau. It’s the kind of stunt casting-against-type that Marceau himself experienced when he was tapped for a cameo in Mel Brooks’ Silent Movie (as, ironically, the only character with spoken dialogue), and given how mime is one of the most famously derided performance styles when looked at through a modern lens, it being used as part of a Oscar-thirsty Holocaust drama seems like a recipe for disappointment. But in truth, it fits better than it would seem at first.

The Last Days Of American Crime (2020) - Movie Review

It’s been a while since I engaged in some cinemasochism, so let’s take another dip into that hallowed hall of hogwash that is the Rotten Tomatoes 0% club. And I’ll be honest, I wasn’t even expecting to hate this all that much. I’ve been more than charitable with Olivier Megaton’s movies in the past, walking away from stuff like the Taken sequels with far less disdain than a lot of other critics out there. Yeah, they weren’t all that great, or even decent, but maybe there’s something in me that’s got a soft spot for his frenzied overload style of action. I even hunted down the original comic book this is based on, and again, it didn’t blow me away or anything, but it’s a pretty solid crime yarn. Maybe these two worlds will collide into something that I’ll see some merit in that most others didn’t.

Or maybe I’ll walk away thinking that even the film’s biggest detractors were far too lenient with what is undoubtedly one of the worst films of the year. Like, everything about this, from the Impact font-ass opening credits, to Depeche Mode getting dragged into the cesspit over the end credits, is wrong.

Bright (2017) - Movie Review

The plot: In an alternate present, humans have co-existed with elves, orcs and fairies since the beginning of time. Police officer Daryl Ward (Will Smith) has been paired up with rookie Orc cop Nick Jakoby (Joel Edgerton) against his wishes, and the rest of the force isn’t too happy with having Jakoby either. On a routine call, they find a magic wand, one of the most powerful artifacts in their world. With the help of elf Tikka (Lucy Fry), Ward and Jakoby set out to stop Leilah (Noomi Rapace) from using the wand to bring back The Dark Lord and return the world into a state of mystical war like it was 2000 years earlier.

Gold (2017) - Movie Review

With how homogenised Hollywood releases can feel at times, it’s understandable if you get a feeling of Déjà vu from certain trailers. If you’ve seen one film about a young couple fighting to be together despite every reason why they shouldn’t be, you’ve seen them all. That kind of blanket statement is usually something even I turn my nose up at, but in some cases, those base assumptions are accurate. However, of all the reasons that I’ve seen in terms of feeling like you’re just watching the same trailers over and over again (aside from just flat-out seeing the same trailers over and over again), this is definitely a new one. In this case, it’s down to the use of music in the trailer.

Now, re-use of popular songs is nothing new but hearing Barns Courtney’s Glitter And Gold in the trailer for today’s film, after hearing it so often in the lead-up to the release of The Founder late last year, is rather off-putting. The fact that the two, even from the marketing, share a prominent trait concerning the American Dream doesn’t help that impression, but I’m getting a bit ahead of myself. Let’s dig right in… ugh… let’s get started with today’s film.

The Girl On The Train (2016) - Movie Review

After spending far longer than I was expecting to this year complaining about movie marketing, I finally get to talk about the positives of movie marketing. Specifically, what it is capable of telling studios. The oldest rule in the medium of entertainment is to give the audience what they want, and what we spend our money on confirms that this is a thing we like to see and wouldn’t mind seeing again. It’s the cornerstone for the franchise-heavy filmmaking mindset that Hollywood has made some comfy cash on in recent years (or decades, if we’re being honest).

I say all this because, with only a passing glimpse at this film’s marketing, it is clear that the grease in the production’s gears is the success of David Fincher’s Gone Girl from two years ago. People saw that film in droves, both critics and casuals alike, and I myself would love to see more of that kind of smart and intense thriller. I’ve admitted before to my own fascination with trickery and games of wits, and no film of the last several years did a better job in those two areas than Gone Girl. But that’s where the association gets a little dangerous: This film wants to be seen as another Gone Girl. But is it capable of fulfilling that role? Hell, removed from connections to any other film, is it capable of fulfilling its role as a movie?

Point Break (2016) - Movie Review

 

What is it about crime flicks that make them probably the most widely referenced and quoted of any genre? Even if you’ve never seen a Lethal Weapon film, chances are you’ve heard someone say “I’m getting too old for this shit” at least once in your life. Among the more widely influential would be 1991’s Point Break, which established a blueprint that would be followed by every film involving a cop/agent going undercover and making a connection with their target. Sure, it hasn’t aged well as a result of how much it’s been copied, not to mention its 90’s surfer musings about finding that rush, but it’s still a decent film in its own right. Can’t go wrong with Keanu Reeves giving one of his better performances and Patrick Swayze as the equally charismatic and recklessly thrill-seeking antagonist. So, naturally, it was going to get a remake at some point, and apparently no-one wanted to compete with it because this was the only film to be released come New Year’s Day. Or maybe it was because they didn’t want the shame of having to be connected to it in any way, even if just by the release date. Even though the real answer should be pretty damn obvious, let’s take a look just to be sure: This is Point Break.