Even though I have a dog at home myself, I’ve never really
gotten the “point” of having pets. I see ordinary life for your standard human as
complicated enough to get through without needing to simultaneously take care
of a living thing that just barely counts in terms of intelligent life. I mean,
people seem to take care better of their dogs than they do themselves; they
certainly dress their canines better than themselves sometimes, I’ll tell you
that for a fact. However, that’s not to say that I’m against it or anything
like that; there’s a reason why cute pet videos still dominate the Internet to
this day, and some of them are legitimately heart-warming by showing just how
much animals mean to their owners. Such a shame that film never really seems able
to translate that properly, with the box-office curse that is the talking
animal movie still very much in effect.
So, as I continue dreading the point
where I end up watching last year’s chatty-cat failure Nine Lives (or Mr.
Fuzzypants as it was retitled over here, because fuck knows that I’m not
embarrassed enough to watch the bloody thing), let’s take a look at this recent
shaggy offering.
The plot: Bailey (Josh Gad) is a dog with the unusual
ability to reincarnate as another dog each time he dies. As he goes through his
numerous lives, and the numerous owners that come with them, Bailey ponders the
meaning of his own existence and what it means to truly “live”. Prepare your
sick bags now because it’s only going to get worse from here.
Writing non-human characters as a means to give an
outsider’s perspective on humanity is a classic SF staple. Writing dogs in
fiction to act and even think like actual dogs, rather than shaggier versions
of people, has been quickly gaining ground, particularly in animated family
films since Pixar’s Up stole the show with its own talking dogs. I bring all
this up because this film definitely knows what it’s doing when it comes to
portraying realistic dogs. That sounds fairly obvious, given how we’re not
dealing with pointless CGI, but Bailey et al. are very convincing as the inner
thoughts of your beloved doggie. The inability to understand the finer workings
of life, yet showing a better understanding of human emotion than even some
humans can manage, and being easily fixated on food and other dogs; this is the
kind of film that might leave audiences wondering what their own pets are thinking
at home.
It probably helps that this film gives a nice and broad perspective
when it comes to dog owners, going from the sympathetic to the just plain
pathetic (a woman crying in the bath over a man while eating ice cream; progressive(!)) to
the highly questionable. If this was designed and intended to be a
feature-length commercial for a local dog pound, shot with all the subtlety of
a PETA production, I’d say it at least does its expected job well enough. Make
sense, considering this has the emotional sincerity and general production
values of a commercial reel.
Ever decided to make toast, but then discovered that there’s
literally nothing in the house to put on it so you just eat it plain? That’s
this movie in a nutshell because this might be one of the single blandest films
I’ve had to cover on this blog. It tries to push some kind of spiritual
philosophy with its main conceit involving reincarnation and the occasional
questioning about life and its purpose (if it even has one), but it’s still
wrapped around a series of phenomenally dull vignettes. The one we spend most
of our time with involves Ethan at various stages of his life, and the way that
it depicts romance and some incredibly melodramatic set pieces (there’s a house
fire scene that feels like something that escaped an early draft of Endless
Love… either of them) makes this feel
like a once-removed Nicholas Sparks story. The fact that director Lasse
Hallström actually has a Nicholas Sparks adaptation under his belt with Dear
John doesn’t help.
It kind of takes the whole ‘dog as observer’ thing to its
most passive extreme, to the point where it feels like the dog’s “dialogue” in
most cases feels like a literal afterthought. And yet, the Ethan scenes are
probably the best parts of the film; at least the argument could be made that
things are happening in them. Once we get to his life as a police dog (in a
scene that takes a jarringly darker turn than the rest of the film) and then
him being owned by a pining college student, and then just a couple of deadbeats,
it’s less ‘plot’ and more trying in vain to find one. It’s as if the dog
literally just wandered onto the sets of other films and they decided to
compile the footage.
Mild spoiler time now: The dog’s life as Bailey is actually
his second life that we see on
screen. The first one barely gets to do much of anything before it is caught by
a dog pound… and then we see him brought back as Bailey. This ends up setting
the tone for the film in a pretty objectionable way because, for the entire
length of the film, there’s a rather unsettling notion that we are watching
dogs die just so that the audience can have a good cry about it. This only
solidifies once we get to the police dog sequence, which ends with the dog
openly bleeding out while the camera makes sure that we can see that that is
what’s happening. Knowing the sort of storytelling techniques that go into
animal-centric stories, I had an initial feeling that was going to be somewhat
emotionally manipulative. Sure, pretty much every single film is by design,
given how they are meant to make us feel things for people who (most of the
time) don’t actually exist.
However, when it gets to the point where you have
scenes that are almost screaming for the audience to bawl their eyes out, from
the dog tragedy to the scenes involving an alcoholic and physically abusive
father and a gun-toting kidnapper, it
feels like you’re being strong-armed into feels. This ultimately is what most
RSPCA/PETA/Animal advocacy organisation of the day propaganda tends to strive
for, and this ends up falling flat for the same reason: It comes across like
we’re being talked down to, as if we’re all animal abusers and generally shitty
people that need to be changed. Admittedly, this doesn’t go as far down that
road as the desperate attention-seeking antics of PETA, but it still rings of
that familiar feeling of being pandered to to make some sort of point.
All in all, you could literally get the same effect from
watching a few cute animal videos on YouTube, only you’d save the money of your
ticket and you’d probably have enough
to get more food and toys for your own pets. And let’s be honest, it’s mostly pet owners
who will end up seeing this thing; if not, then don’t be surprised if your kid
suddenly decides that they want a puppy if you take them to see this. The
acting is perfectly fine but the stories involved and the overall tone feels
way too manipulative and way too corny to buy into. It doesn’t help that this
film’s approach when it comes to making the audience feel something shows a rather
distasteful answer to what is a dog’s “purpose”: They must suffer so that we
can feel sad. It’s kind of sickening, really.
i saw the movie so goooooooooooood!!!
ReplyDeleteGood for you, I guess. I'm certainly not going to begrudge anyone else enjoying a film, even if I didn't.
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