100% Wolf (2020) - Movie Review

After the horrors of my last review, I figure there’s nowhere to go but up so why not check out more talking animal schtick? In fairness, though, I have at least a little faith that this film will turn out somewhat decent coming from Aussie studio Flying Bark. And indeed, ‘somewhat decent’ is certainly what I got.

Little Foot (2020) - Movie Review

Well, after years of subjecting myself to all manner of bad animated movies for kids, I think I’ve found the absolute nadir. The certified, inarguable, objective worst of the lot. So let’s get right into it.

365 Days (2020) - Movie Review

After how much of a big deal I made regarding the Fifty Shades series… not gonna lie, I feel a certain obligation to look at this thing. This is the kind of cinematic masochism that admittedly gives me a better idea of the supposed ‘draw’ of stories like that, but that doesn’t make the experience any more pleasurable for myself. So, let’s take a look at the Trojan softcore porno that’s taken Netflix by storm and highlight how, by some tremendous anti-miracle, this is all kinds of worse than its inspiration.

Lizzie (2020) - Movie Review

This is a cinematic pairing that is so blindingly obvious that it really should have happened before this point. Kristen Stewart and Chloë Sevigny: Both indie darlings, both internationally seasoned, both chaotic queer in presence, both utter joys to see in just about anything (hell, even hindsight gives Stewart’s Bella a certain ironic pleasure). And when paired up for a rather iconic piece of gory American folklore, along with a director who got his feature-length kickstart with backing from Spectrevision… hell yeah, am I excited that this finally got a release over here.

Spycies (2020) - Movie Review

Oh look, another decent animated film that got shafted by terrible marketing. Only this example might be even worse than Red Shoes And The Seven Dwarfs, as the slip-up here is… well, you can see the title; it doesn’t get any more obvious than that. And I’ll admit, my initial interest in this movie came out of wanting to find the story behind what is easily the worst pun title I have ever seen. But, like I said, I’m not here to rag on yet another dreadful talking animal movie. Instead, I’m here to highlight a surprisingly solid feature.

23 Walks (2020) - Movie Review

Gonna keep this one nice and short, since I don’t really have much to add to a film like this. It’s a romantic drama about a couple who meet and get to know each other over the course of the titular 23 walks in the park with their dogs. It’s rather minor-key and pleasant, almost tranquillisingly so, but in that lies its charm.

Where'd You Go, Bernadette (2020) - Movie Review

Richard Linklater has a real fascination with using cinema to capture life’s little moments as they happen. This will come as zero shock to those who witnessed the media hypestorm surrounding Boyhood a few years back, but a lot of his oeuvre shows this in one way or another. Whether it’s musing on bygone days, focusing on a single character’s need to break out of those bygone days, or literally following the same characters/cast over several in-real-time years to bridge reality and cinema closer, it’s an aesthetic that has led to some great work. With his latest, though, I find myself questioning whether this particular moment was worth making holy.

The Legend Of The Five (2020) - Movie Review

Considering the shitstorm currently surrounding J.K. Rowling (and by extension the Harry Potter franchise), part of me really wanted to give this a go. A throwback to first-wave ‘magical Earth hero saving a mystical land’ YA storytelling, and made in my own backyard to boot (not literally, although given the production values of these Aussie indie efforts, you’d be forgiven for assuming so), this definitely piqued my interest. And while there’s definitely some good to it, it’s also incredibly muddled.

Unhinged (2020) - Movie Review

A B-movie thriller all about how little of an excuse some people need to completely go off the deep end and hurt others. Not sure who exactly thought this was the ideal feature to bring out in the middle of epidemic lockdown, a time when the distinction between selfishness and actually giving a fuck about other people is getting sharper by the day, but… have to admit, I’m a bit torn on whether this was the best idea or the worst idea in cinemas right now.

The Secret: Dare To Dream (2020) - Movie Review

Well… this is an idea that someone thought was going to work: Make a movie based on a self-help book that, for those who even remember it in the first place, was met with meme status on initial release and has stayed there ever since. Book-to-film adaptations are usually iffy at the best of times purely because of the adaptation process, so you can imagine the hill that needs to be climbed to inject cinematic narrative into something objectively plotless.

The Vigil (2020) - Movie Review

Well, this is a nice surprise: A horror flick released during lockdown that doesn’t make me think literal cabin fever is the better option. Not only that, this is quite a refreshing feature within its sub-genre of supernatural horror. Mainly, because it's one of a rare few that taps into superstition outside of the Christian camp.

Babyteeth (2020) - Movie Review

Aussie filmmaker Shannon Murphy is the latest director to make their initial step into the cinematic realm through a coming-of-age story. It’s also the latest of a thankfully-increasing number of female-focused stories in this sub-genre. Not that either of those descriptors really end up doing this work justice. One of the side effects of watching so many bloody movies is that, naturally, you’ll come across a lot of story ideas and techniques being repeated. Not out of deliberate mimicry (most of the time, at least), but because there are only so many ways to tell these kinds of stories. Enter this film, which leaves just about every other coming-of-age film in the dust.

The King Of Staten Island (2020) - Movie Review

Judd Apatow, one of the most influential figures in modern American comedy, has returned to screens with a new writing/directing effort. After his last feature with Trainwreck, which both launched and remains the sole high point of Amy Schumer’s cinematic career, I can’t say I knew what to expect outside of the traditional Apatow formula: Showing immature adults at a point where they need to grow the fuck up. But even with that in mind, I was not expecting to walk away from his latest and being this… moved.