The Next 365 Days (2022) - Movie Review

 

This is not a review.

Oh sure, it’ll be written the same as any review I’ve ever put on here or elsewhere, and I will be giving my unvarnished thoughts on the film in question same as always. But this is not a review. This is target practice.

I could have easily just let this one go by the wayside. Anyone who has even heard of this film beforehand will already be aware of how trash it is, why it’s not worth watching even for the highly specific nature of its existence, and therefore anything I have to add to it would be rather pointless.

But I’m not about to give this film special treatment. I didn’t spare Fifty Shades. I didn’t spare The Kissing Booth. I’m still not sparing the After series. And even outside of the Wattpad set, I didn’t spare The Invitation or The Exorcism Of God. This wave of cinematic fanfiction is only growing stronger, and I’ll be damned if I let any of it get past me. So… yeah. Let’s have fun with this one. Dude knows it’s not letting me have any by any other means.

365 Days: This Day (2022) - Movie Review

I’m not going to say that I was looking forward to this film in any reasonable fashion; after how disastrously its predecessor turned out, that’d just be dishonest of me. But between the thoughtful examination of sexual liberation in X, and me re-examining my understanding of films primarily targeted at women off the back of How To Please A Woman… I’m at least open to the idea that this film could be a little easier to sit through. And to a degree, it is… but only in one specific aspect. Everything else has somehow taken a turn for the even worse.

365 Days (2020) - Movie Review

After how much of a big deal I made regarding the Fifty Shades series… not gonna lie, I feel a certain obligation to look at this thing. This is the kind of cinematic masochism that admittedly gives me a better idea of the supposed ‘draw’ of stories like that, but that doesn’t make the experience any more pleasurable for myself. So, let’s take a look at the Trojan softcore porno that’s taken Netflix by storm and highlight how, by some tremendous anti-miracle, this is all kinds of worse than its inspiration.