Mahan’s Media as a blog began with a simple idea: Taking the mini-reviews I was already writing for movies for my own sake, and showing them to… whoever feels like reading what one dude thinks about said movies.
But I like to think that, as my catalogue of write-ups grew, this blog took on a more complex idea: A testing ground for a dream.
A place where I could sharpen my writing skills, continue my self-taught process of learning film criticism and its myriad of different disciplines and perspectives, and turn that into something that might convince someone else that, you know what, this dude knows what he’s talking about. Maybe we should get him writing for us.
And then exactly that happened. Through a collision of random events, I found myself in a position where an editor took a chance with the brain and hands behind all these different reactions and analyses, and decided I should write for them. FilmInk picked me up, and over the past several years, my writing has shown some definite improvement. My perspective on films has gone through several foundational shifts, my ability to convey my feelings and rationalisations has become clearer, and I’ve made connections with people that share this level of intensive fascination and obsession with the medium of film. Some of those connections even began on this humble blog, meaning that what I do here is still having an effect on my work today.
So why haven’t I been posting on here lately?
Well, there’s a lot of reasons. I did two big trips early in the year (one to another state, the other to a different country for the first time), and I was pre-occupied with those experiences over fixating on my writing. There’s also how a lot of the talked-about films from that time (Madame Web and shit like that) weren’t exactly making me itching to get back to work just yet.
But over time, I eventually realised I’d attached so much of my self-worth to what I put down on paper here that, if I wasn’t working here on a somewhat-consistent basis, I didn’t feel like myself. And I didn’t like that feeling. I didn’t like the idea that, even though I had attained the dream of being a professional writer, that didn’t matter if I wasn’t still putting in work around here. It’s as if me getting to that place in my career wasn’t enough, and that I had to keep chasing after what I already had in order to feel like… me.
I don’t want that to be what this place is. It’s just an online blog from some nobody, but I started this out of a place of passion and drive to see where I could take this idea of me writing about movies. I don’t want this to become a place that exists for mandatory content from myself, or indeed anyone else, out of some idea that work is what defines me as a person.
In light of all that, I’ve decided that the direction of this place is going to change. Rest assured, the film reviews will still be happening at FilmInk and wherever else will take me on because I still enjoy doing them. If you’re interested in seeing more of my film thoughts, my Letterboxd is stringently updated with every new thing I watch, and I’ve been very active on BlueSky lately as well. But around here, I’m going to go back to that original idea, of this being a testing ground for me to explore what I want to do with my writing career, and see what else I can aim for. I mean, I haven’t even hit 30 yet and I’ve already attained one of my biggest dreams; why should I stop there? I could be on the cusp of another collision of random events that could lead me towards something else that I’ve always wanted to do, but never had the chance to before.
I mean, it’s been a private joke with friends for a while that this blog is called Mahan’s Media, not Mahan’s Movies, so I might as well expand my scope a bit.
I don’t know what that will mean for updates on here. I already have one big idea that I’m working on right now that will likely make it on here, but beyond that? Not a clue. Outside of that idea, I don’t even know if I will regularly be writing on here with that shift in focus in mind. But even with how much I’ve learned to exist outside of these blips of light on a screen, I still recognise that this blog is an extension of myself and where I am in my life, as are all the things written in it. And that position has changed, so it only seems right that the blog should update with it.
This place has served me well already. Let’s see where else we can go.
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