The Nun II (2023) - Movie Review

Well, shit. After gradually warming up to the Conjuring Universe, the official threequel The Devil Made Me Do It and the more recent atrocious copycats like The Unholy, The Exorcism Of God, and The Pope’s Exorcist have made me seriously reconsider that position. As much as I have good memories of at least half of these films, the underlying dogma of this entire sub-genre is starting to wear thin on my sensibilities, and the quality of the films themselves isn’t really picking up the slack. Still, I am nothing if not open to being surprised, and the first Nun is still a film I quite liked when I first saw it, so I’m willing to give this one a chance.

A Quiet Place Part II (2021) - Movie Review

In most circumstances, a sequel that’s just more of the same that made the original what it is can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, it serves as one of the only conditions when the advice of Mike Love is a good thing to adhere to ("don’t fuck with the formula"), making sure that what worked last time isn’t tampered with. But on the other hand, if a continuation is going to exist in the first place, there needs to be something new added to the mix, if only to justify the exercise. And with A Quiet Place Part II finally making it to theatres, it feels like a good middle ground between those two ideals, resulting in a film where it being similar to what came before is far from a bad thing.

Free Solo (2019) - Movie Review

Free solo rock climbing. It’s one of those ideas where literally everything involved sounds like a bad idea. It takes the typical vertigo rush of rock climbing as is, and removes any semblance that it’s even remotely a safe thing to be doing. One slip, one all-too-tired muscle giving way, one grip that isn’t as secure as you thought it was, and gravity sends you out of this life. I mean, yeah, most physical exercise seems daring to me because I’m a lazy bastard, but doing shit like this feels like it was put into people’s heads just to weed out those who are stupid enough to risk it. Or, at least, that’s what I thought, until seeing this.

A Quiet Place (2018) - Movie Review

The plot: Humanity is on the brink of extinction. An alien species has landed that will attack at the slightest sound, forcing the survivors like Lee (John Krasinski), his wife Evelyn (Emily Blunt) and their children Regan (Millicent Simmonds), Marcus (Noah Jupe) and Beau (Cade Woodward) to be live a literal quiet existence or else they will be killed. As they try to lead as normal a life as one can have in this situation and prepare for the arrival of their next child, the creatures lay in wait for them to make even the smallest of mistakes... and snatch their prey.

The Shallows (2016) - Movie Review

Were shark movies ever cool? I mean, outside of the original Jaws, they only seem to be getting sillier and sillier. Sure, it’s easy to say that now in the post-Sharknado age, but these films been like this for a long time. It’s the ultimate irony that a film that helped define Hollywood as it stands today would also go on to spawn easily one of the most B-movie of the notable B-movie sub-genres.

From the laughable special effects to the hokey acting, right down to the (if you’ll excuse the term) jumping the shark moments like having them be driven by revenge or an exterior need to advertise for Sea World, leaping out of the water to take bites out of airplanes or even grouping together to form tornadoes to attack people, the sub-genre has a pretty prominent reputation for being hilariously ridiculous. Considering all this, making a film nowadays that is meant to make audiences take sharks seriously again is a pretty tall order. So, how does this particular feature turn out in that regard?