Come To Daddy (2020) - Movie Review

Time for another ride on the Elijah Wood fucked-up indie train, although we’re not dealing with a Spectrevision production this time around. Instead, we’re looking at the feature-length directorial debut of Ant Timpson, a New Zealand film producer better known for spearheading the horror anthology series The ABCs Of Death, as well as his profoundly graphic production logo at the front of previous review subject The Greasy Strangler. And with the writer of Greasy Strangler, Toby Harvard, in tow, chances are this is going to be something uniquely bizarre.

The Greasy Strangler (2016) - Movie Review (1000th Post Special)

Well, this is going to be a very special review. This marks my 1000^th blog post, a number that has steadily built up over the past five years, encompassing movie reviews, lists, articles looking at my critical influences, and a few one-off experiments that didn’t really make it off the ground. What began with a spur-of-the-moment trip with friends to see a One Direction concert film has grown (or possibly mutated; the lab results are inconclusive as of yet) into not only an uneven-yet-prolific amount of writing material but also a chance to write for proper publications and even getting into doing podcasts. None of this would have been possible without my dear readers, every one of you who has ever taken the time to read what this uneducated dude has to say about the latest releases. I humbly thank all of you out there, and here’s to a thousand more.

Cooties (2015) - Movie Review

This is most certainly a team-up that, even in my weirdest pot dreams, I wouldn’t have been able to foresee. On one hand, you have Leigh Whannell, best known for his collaborations with James Wan on the Saw and Insidious series. On the other, you have Ian Brennan, best known for being the brainchild of the thankfully recently-concluded TV migraine Glee. Except for a possible connection involving people screaming in terror, I can’t even think of a comparative duo to explain just how strange this is. The fact that this is yet another zombie film seems like an afterthought by comparison. Well, in the spirit of goodwill and the fact that I really hope Whannell is at least capable of keeping up with his cinematic brother’s success, it’s time to delve into today’s rather strange production that just happens to feature a lot of dead children. Yeah.

The Last Witch Hunter (2015) - Movie Review

I’ve talked before about using immortality to add flavour to a romantic story, but here is where we get into one of the many offshoots of that idea: The immortal hero. Yet another example of the chosen one narrative at work, this usually involves a seemingly ordinary person who has been granted abilities that forces them to live longer for some greater purpose. In any bog standard story, this usually involves some kind of great evil that needs to be fought. Really, unless your name is Joss Whedon, it is extremely unlikely that someone will be able to pull anything all that new or compelling out of the concept. This kind of sucks, considering the idea is even older than the undying souls that utilise it. But hey, I could be wrong; maybe this new Vin Diesel vehicle could set itself apart from the myriad of fantasy stories out there, let alone the ones dealing with eternal life, and create something truly memorable. *sigh* Let’s just get into today’s kindling already.