My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3 (2023) - Movie Review

Why was this made?

I mean, I know I basically asked the same question when the second film came out, but I am struggling even more with rationalising this one. At least with the first sequel, it was building off of what remains one of the most financially successful rom-coms ever. The second film didn’t come anywhere near that same profit margin, and with how devoid of entertainment value it turned out, raw finances are basically the only reason I could see why they would even bother continuing.

Far as I can tell, this is just star/writer and now director Nia Vardalos adding to the grand tradition of cinematic productions that exist primarily as an excuse for a paid vacation. So fine. If this film simply must exist, there’s not a whole lot I can do outside of hoping that, at the very least, it qualifies for ‘good for what it is’.

And yet I didn’t even get that much.

47 Metres Down: Uncaged (2019) - Movie Review

Well, after the success of the first 47 Metres Down movie, which was easily one of the most unnecessary features I reviewed in the entirety of 2017, it appears we already have a sequel. Knowing what other unneeded horror cinema have been getting follow-ups (a sequel to The Gallows came out this year; I mean, c’mon!) I should be more irritated at this film’s mere existence… but maybe this could be a good thing.

As I’ve been making a habit of saying around here, I love movies that redeem qualities of bad movies, and while I was largely unimpressed with the first film, it’s not as if it had literally nothing about it that could’ve worked with a different take. Hell, with how well Crawl turned out earlier this year, I’m willing to go into this with some level of optimism. Thankfully, this may not be all that good of a film, but it is markedly better than its predecessor.

God's Not Dead: A Light In Darkness (2018) - Movie Review

The plot: After his family church goes up in flames, Reverend Dave (David A. R. White) finds himself at odds with the local university whose land the church stands on, who would rather tear it down than pay to have it restored. As Dave reconnects with his estranged brother Pearce (John Cobrett) to put together a legal case against the university, he finds himself questioning not just his faith but also his actions and whether he is as righteous as he once believed.

The Boy Next Door (2015) - Movie Review

Rob Cohen might be one of the best examples of how not to age gracefully when it comes to the more creative fields. I think at some point after making The Skulls, Cohen had a mid-life crisis that he still hasn’t entirely gotten over because every single film he’s made since then reeks of someone desperately trying to relate to “them young people today”. The Fast & The Furious was full of so much posturing that I’m still surprised that it ended up creating a legitimately good action franchise overall, xXx tried (and failed) to show how it was cooler than James Bond, Stealth was just plain stupid, The Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor was a CGI-ridden missed opportunity, and Alex Cross made the oh-so-bright decision to cast Madea as a genius criminal investigator; I’ll probably never forgive him for replacing Idris Elba after that crap. It’s already a bad sign whenever someone wants to make an “erotic thriller”, but when that someone is primarily known for overblown action spectacle, the already low chances of success drop even further. Let’s just see how this turned out.