Happy Death Day 2U (2019) - Movie Review

Well, it’s February and you know what that means: Horror… movies…

Wait, didn’t I just write this? More to the point, haven’t I reviewed this movie already? Came out a couple years ago, it was this time loop slasher film with a dark sense of humour… yeah, I’ve definitely seen this already. Has all my time bitching about the prevalence of this plot device somehow got me stuck in one myself? Is my Groundhog Day having to review the same movie over and over again?

No, I haven’t quite gotten that far up my own arse to attempt some alternate-reality game shit in these reviews… not yet, at any rate. I’m just using this as a preface because something this bizarre kind of needs to introduced in a surreal fashion. It’s not every day that a film comes out that is both a serious rehash and a bold step into new territory.

Cam (2018) - Movie Review

The Internet has enriched the human way of life in many ways. Unprecedented access to information, being able to contact people all over the world with remarkable ease, and all the porn a person could ask for. But of all of its attributes, the most impactful one of all is one that most people seem to forget: It gives people the ability to be someone else.

Truth Or Dare (2018) - Movie Review

The plot: While in Mexico for Spring Break, Olivia (Lucy Hale), Markie (Violett Beane), Lucas (Tyler Posey), Penelope (Sophia Ali), Tyson (Nolan Gerard Funk) and Brad (Hayden Szeto) are convinced by Carter (Landon Liboiron) to join him in the ruins of an old rescue mission to play a little game of Truth or Dare. However, when they return home, the group discovers that the game came back with them and, unless they play along, they could wind up dead.

Happy Death Day (2017) - Movie Review

There is an entire singularity of irony surrounding today’s movie. When Groundhog Day first came out, it was well-regarded and seen as a welcome reprieve from the norm. In the wake of Edge Of Tomorrow, everyone and their two-bit production house decided to get in on the time loop narrative trend, resulting in not only crushing that sense of reprieve that made all this work in the first place, but at a frequency that will likely make most moviegoers feel like they themselves are reliving the same day over and over again. With how many of these films I’ve already covered, I am seriously sceptical that there is any new ground to cover with this idea. I know that “Hollywood has officially run out of ideas” is so much of a meme as to lose any real meaning in saying it, but as I delved into not that long ago, it is starting to become even more pronounced than before.

 

So, with the director of the widely-derided Scouts' Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse and prolific producer Jason Blum at the helm, is there going to be anything here that isn’t going to make me repeat myself yet again? Well, this is the year of all things surprising, so I’ll admit to being curious about how this will turn out.

Ouija: Origin Of Evil (2016) - Movie Review

A couple years back, I looked at a fun little slice of psychological horror with Oculus. Since then, director/co-writer Mike Flanagan has been keeping himself busy. And by "busy", I mean "Good God, how does one person have that much motivation?!" because he has all of three films slated for this year alone. I’m exhausted just thinking about that amount of effort, so hats off to him. Then again, that kind of aptitude is usually reserved for people who make schlock, porn or both, so maybe this arrangement isn’t as ideal as it sounds. Then again again, having seen this film, I couldn’t be more excited to check out the other two because… wow, this is something else.

Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015) - Movie Review

Franchise additions are nothing new to the big screen. Franchise conclusions, on the other hand, not so much. Sure, if we’re talking about adaptations of pre-existing works, there has to be an end point. However, studios are savvy enough to milk the cash cows while they are still standing, and even long after they drop dead, which means that they usually don’t have the guts to kill off the potential for future sequels. This seems to ring especially true when it comes to horror franchises: Friday The 13^thand Saw's respective series went through a handful of 'final chapters' in their time, and even now there’s talk about continuing the saga that Jigsaw built; the Amityville series didn’t even let the story about a possessed lamp stop them; and the Witchcraft films still haunt the nightmares of video rental junkies for all the wrong reasons (all 13 of them). With all this in mind, despite how they’re touting this as the finale of the Paranormal Activity story, I’m not holding my breath on that front.

The Visit (2015) - Movie Review

M. Night Shyamalan is one of those directors that it’s safe to dislike, given his most recent output. I mean, sure, The Sixth Sense has one of the most culturally-ingrained twist endings of all time and Unbreakable continues to be a cult classic, but nothing he’s been attached to since even comes close to that. Whether it’s the masterpiece of unintentional comedy that is The Happening, the fan betraying mockery of The Last Airbender, the vanity hack job of After Earth or even the mass of misguided ideas in Devil, Shyamalan has turned from one of the most promising filmmakers in Hollywood into an utter laughing stock. However, even with how horrendous the aforementioned films could get, I still can’t help but feel sorry for the guy after all this time and just hope that he can stage a comeback one of these days. So, when news of this film hit and apparently audiences in the U.S. were starting to warm up to him again, maybe there’s a chance that he has found a way to crawl out of the shite-encrusted mire he’s dug himself into. This is The Visit.

The Gift (2015) - Movie Review

Yep, another actor deciding to take up the mantle of director… and he’s Australian to boot. I can only hope that this fares better than last time this happened. Well, okay, this doesn’t have nearly as bad a lead-up as The Water Diviner. For starters, our aspiring director Joel Edgerton is also penning the script for this film and, judging by his role from the trailer, this should be less ‘vanity project’ and more ‘passion project’; something a bit more heart put into it. It also helps that he isn’t being funded by a television station; instead, he’s being backed by Jason Blum, the most prominent hack producer working today. Not entirely sure how one becomes a producer-for-hire, but given how he’s been attached to at least 11 films this year alone, something tells me that his attachment here is nothing too special. So, do we get another Crowe or is this actually good?

The Gallows (2015) - Movie Review

…Boo!

Was that scary? Well, how about if I did it another thousand times?

Still no?

Well then, be thankful you’re only reading about today’s movie instead of watching it yourself. This is The Gallows.

Oculus (2014) - Movie Review

There are two film production companies that I have grown to be extremely cautious of: Summit Entertainment and WWE Studios. Summit, even without bringing Twilight into discussion, helped bring Alex Cross, Warm Bodies and Divergent among others to audiences; and WWE Studios focuses mainly on films starring wrestlers who aren’t Dwayne Johnson. Whenever I see their respective logos before a movie, I get a mild bit of cinematic PTSD and understandably so far as I’m concerned. However, expectations shouldn’t dictate a person’s opinion on a film entirely; hell, the last film Summit released was John Wick, which is a great movie. Do we get another tradition breaker here?