Smoking Causes Coughing (2023) - Movie Review

Look, I need something lighter after the last film. Something short, something funny, something weird, and hopefully, something not as heavy as Martin Scorsese calling out genocide. So I decided to check this out mainly because of its oddball title, oddball poster, and oddball premise of a team of French superheroes named Benzene, Methanol, Nicotine, Mercury, and Ammonia, otherwise known as the Tobacco Force.

Where it gets weirder is that the central idea of this film (I think?) is indicative of why I decided to watch it in the first place.

Benedetta (2022) - Movie Review

I have been eagerly looking forward to seeing this movie and reviewing it. Hell, I’ve been itching for the chance to talk about its director for quite some time. Filmmaker Paul Verhoeven has one of the most fascinating, if not outright legendary, filmographies of any cinema creative I’ve come across. After some modest successes in his native Holland over the ‘70s and early ‘80s, Verhoeven moved to the United States and had one hell of a hot streak. RoboCop, Total Recall, Basic Instinct, Showgirls, Starship Troopers, and Hollow Man, all one right after the other over the course of thirteen years. This is why I love auteur theory: So many of the idiosyncrasies in those films suddenly make a bit more sense once you realise they’re from the same mind.

And after a brief return to the Netherlands for 2006’s Black Book, he has since settled down in France where he put together the immensely uncomfortable (and I say that as someone who sat through Una and The Nightingale) Ella. For as much as I can appreciate the characterisation in that film, it also shows a darker side to Verhoeven’s iconic lack of taste that is not easy to sit through, and not exactly for the best of reasons. As someone with a serious admiration for the man’s work at his peak (Showgirls isn’t a so-bad-it’s-good movie, it’s a legitimately great film, and I will die on that hill), I was truly hoping that his latest wouldn’t be more of the same unpleasantness. And indeed, this is quite a different beast from the likes of Ella.

Titane (2021) - Movie Review

I went into this as blind as I possibly could. All I knew about it going in was that it was a French film, a lot of critics I follow have brought it up as one of, if not the, craziest film of the year, and it was written and directed by Julia Ducournau, who also made Raw, which is one of my favourite films from 2017 (and it would’ve ranked pretty damn high had I actually written a best-of list for that year). Beyond that, I knew nothing about the plot or any potential inklings of theme, and quite frankly, I couldn’t have picked a better film to try this approach with this year. Partly because it helped make the specifics of the plot that much more bizarre (and this is pretty frickin’ weird as is), but mainly because figuring out what this whole mess is about is going to be that much more fun for me. So! Let’s dig in.

Oxygen (2021) - Movie Review

A woman wakes up in a cryogenic pod. She has no memory of how she got there, or even who she is. She has no contact with the outside world, save through the pod’s built-in A.I. MILO. The oxygen levels in the sealed pod are down to a third, and there is no way for her to get out. And… action!

Cuties (Mignonnes) (2020) - Movie Review

I find it immensely aggravating that I can be in a position where the decision to review this (meaning that I actually sat down and watched it for myself, like literally every review on here) means that I could be facing harassment in the near-future, regardless of what I actually say about it. This might be the first time that the outrage surrounding a film is the main reason that I finally decided to review it, as the whole controversy surrounding this film kind of pisses me off.

Colette (2018) - Movie Review

 

One of the better reasons for the continued existence of period dramas is that, in a historical sense, it can help brings modern-day issues into perspective. There’s only so much clamouring about "it’s just a trend" or "yeah, now you care about all this" when it comes to any social issue before it becomes quite grating to have to rebut over and over again. Since cinema is a great tool when it comes to information, and global history has all sorts of little nuggets that the world could use some reminders of, it can make for some rather revelatory moments. Like this film, the latest from writer/director Wash Westmoreland about a pioneering French writer and her struggle for recognition.

Bastille Day (2016) - Movie Review

If nothing else, Idris Elba exists to prove that having a rap career won’t kill off your acting career. Seriously, with how scrutinising the media can get and how equally atrocious some actors can be when they attempt singing, let alone rapping, the fact that he still has a cinematic leg to stand on is kind of miraculous. Or at least it would be if his acting chops didn’t downright demand that his place in the green room be secure. I mean, him being cast as the whitest of the Norse gods in the MCU is reason enough for him to garner some respect, as if his badassery is so high as to destroy racial barriers in its wake, but then there’s Pacific Rim where he gave the mother of all inspirational speeches as well as Mandela: Long Walk To Freedom where he imbued one of the greatest political prisoners of all time with all the pathos that the role deserved. So, naturally, I was looking forward to seeing him step back into the cat-and-mouse action scene. Is it going to be worth seeing even with him in mind, or am I setting myself up for another fall? Dear God, I hope it’s the former.