Beast (2022) - Movie Review

I really like carrots. I admit that I don’t eat as healthy as I probably should, but carrots would likely be a foundation for my diet if I were to make any major overhauls. That slight sweetness combined with the crunch when it’s raw and fresh; it’s definitely one of my favourite healthier foods.

But that’s not to say that I could happily live off just carrots. Eating one or two on their own as a snack, sure, but when I sit down for dinner, I’m not likely to just have a plate piled high with raw carrots to eat. They’re good, but there needs to be something more to it. Seasoning, a particular cooking method, some other vegetables and proteins; anything to make it into more of a complete meal.

No, this has not suddenly become Mahan’s Munchies or anything like that. I’m bringing this up because I have a similar attitude to survival movies. Survival as a character drive in a film can be great, and is usually built into the more visceral genres like action and horror. But I’m starting to realise that a film that is just centred on characters surviving a perilous scenario, with all the scripting and production focus being put towards that one aspect, doesn’t do much for me as a viewer or a critic. So you can imagine how not-glowing my review for this survival thriller will be.

The Suicide Squad (2021) - Movie Review

I appear to be one of the few people who is still willing to say a good thing about David Ayer’s Suicide Squad (and without endlessly pleading for a #AyerCut to make it “good”). Yeah, it’s definitely flawed and more than a little messy, but on the strength of the characters, I had a lot of fun with it. However, if anyone was going to give that concept a second try, you’d be hard-pressed to find someone better suited for it than James Gunn. He’s already proven his worth with elevating lower-tier comic book characters with his work on the Guardians Of The Galaxy, and for a team on a similar moral standing, he should know how to deal with the material. And I gotta say, even as an apologist for the 2016 film, this honestly blows it out of the water.

Cats (2019) [Yes, that one] - Movie Review

This really is the year that keeps proving me wrong in the worst possible ways, it seems. Back when I reviewed the Aladdin remake, I foolishly thought that that would be the worst it could get for instant audience scepticism that a film will be any good. And then in walks this little film, lighting the literate masses’ brains of fire with just how nightmarish it apparently is. It went beyond merely the marketing and went into the post-film conversation itself, not to mention the post-release conversation. I went into this expecting an unmitigated train wreck, the kind that makes for a delirious viewing experience… and admittedly, this is indeed a train wreck. But it’s not even the fun kind.

Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019) - Movie Review

Fast & Furious is a very silly film franchise. Sudden character death, sudden character resurrection/amnesia, overblown emotionality, pretences towards it all being families and sticking together; it’s basically soap opera for people who think the WWE doesn’t go far enough. It’s also a series that, as the years press on, I find myself gravitating closer and closer towards, appreciating them honestly as some of the best blockbuster action in cinemas these days and somewhat pretentiously for how it deals with the relationships between its many, many main characters.

Molly's Game (2018) - Movie Review

The plot: Molly Bloom (Jessica Chastain), former Olympic-level skier turned over and shaker in the world of underground poker, has been indicted for suspected involvement with the Russian mafia. While she and her lawyer Charlie Jaffey (Idris Elba) navigate the indictment for a means to keep Molly out of prison, she recollects what led her to this point. Her athletic aspirations in her youth, her reluctant introduction into the world of off-the-books gambling, and her determined goal of proving her own worth in that world are all laid bare as she comes to terms with where she went wrong.

Thor: Ragnarok (2017) - Movie Review

I never thought I would get to this point but I think I’m starting to get burnt out on all these Marvel movies. I’ve mentioned before how much I love superhero and comic book inspired films, and I still stand by all of that, but as more time passes, I’m beginning to realize that my zeal to see these films in the cinema has severely diminished. Yeah, I’ve still seen all of the MCU to date, but I ended up getting to some of them like Captain America: Civil War and Spider-Man: Homecoming far later than I would have expected. Whether it’s down to the sheer volume of releases per year, the fact that all of them are interconnected so that they all need to be seen to get the full experience, or just down to me discovering other sub-genres that interest me more, some part of my subconscious is hesitant to keep seeing these. Not that it should be; I mean, Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 is still an astounding work, Homecoming gave us the first real Spider-Man movie and even Doctor Strange has some of the greatest effects work I’ve ever seen full stop.

 

So, yeah, maybe it’s less that I’m losing my love for these films and more that they are starting to feel more like work. No change there then, honestly. Anyway, enough waffle; time to get into this latest MCU offering that seems to be taking the franchise in a different direction. A very weird direction.

The Mountain Between Us (2017) - Movie Review

 

The plot: Neurosurgeon Ben (Idris Elba) and photojournalist Alex (Kate Winslet) are both stranded at the airport when their flight is cancelled. Urgently needing to get back, they take an unchartered flight with pilot Walter (Beau Bridges). Unfortunately, the storm that cancelled their original flight hits their new flight and the plane crashes. With Alex terribly injured, they have to find a way to survive the frozen mountain climate and, hopefully, make it back home.

The Dark Tower (2017) - Movie Review

We’re going to be getting quite a few adaptations from the written horror legend Stephen King this year. I’m going to cover them as I do any other film, except I’m doing to do something a little different with these. Along with going over the individual merits of the films themselves as per usual, I’m also going to take this time to go over King’s own strengths as a writer, how they present themselves in his works, and ultimately how well these films stand up as a continuation of his ethos. And oh boy, do we have a doozy to start out with.

 

After being in development hell for many years, only truly getting off the ground thanks to everyone’s favourite hack Akiva Goldsman, to say this film hasn’t been well-received would undermine the sheer apathy that this has generated so far. Anyone who has read through my reviews for quote-unquote “boring” films in the past should know that failure to engage often ends up being a bigger sin than just being aggravating or thematic heinous. But is that truly what we get here? Let’s take our first dip in the King pool and find out.

Finding Dory (2016) - Movie Review

One of the brightest feathers in Pixar’s cap, 2003’s Finding Nemo is a film that I watched the hell out of as a kid. Hell, it was the first film where I actually took time out to watch the director’s commentary for, and this was all pre-Critic bear in mind. That said, looking back on it, I was rather perplexed at how much I adored this movie… until I watched it again recently for the first time in many years. Wow.

I seriously don’t recall the last time a film made me weep quite this much while watching it. A heart-warming story about family and the forces of nature, one without any real antagonist to it which is a serious rarity for family films, it holds up as one of Pixar’s genuine masterpieces. Naturally, with the studio in the process of making new instalments to some of their most popular works like Toy Story, The Incredibles and Cars (notice how I said “popular”, not “good” because of that last one), they also decided to make a follow-up to Finding Nemo. If this was any other studio but Pixar, I would question this decision; however, after seeing what utter perfection they could cook up for prolonged franchises like Toy Story 3, I have quite a bit of faith that this film could work out. Let’s dive right in and find out.

Star Trek Beyond (2016) - Movie Review

2009’s reboot of the Star Trek film series is a film that is utter impossible for me to view in any critical sense. I say this because, for better or for worse, it was what finally got me properly interested in the franchise and I have been ever since. When the Star Trek series and movies are at their best, they are some of the most thought-provoking and well-crafted science-fiction stories in the history of the medium. Hell, I’d argue that the Next Generation episode Tapestry is one of the greatest works of fiction ever conceived. But don’t mistake this for blind fanboy devotion: When it’s bad, it conversely makes for some of the most brain-dead uses of the art form possible. In stark contrast to my thoughts on the 2009 reboot, 2013’s Into Darkness is far less complicated: It’s decent, but quickly turns sour thanks to how badly it borrows ideas from previous films in the franchise. Are we gonna get a repeat of either of those, or are we in for something else entirely?

Bastille Day (2016) - Movie Review

If nothing else, Idris Elba exists to prove that having a rap career won’t kill off your acting career. Seriously, with how scrutinising the media can get and how equally atrocious some actors can be when they attempt singing, let alone rapping, the fact that he still has a cinematic leg to stand on is kind of miraculous. Or at least it would be if his acting chops didn’t downright demand that his place in the green room be secure. I mean, him being cast as the whitest of the Norse gods in the MCU is reason enough for him to garner some respect, as if his badassery is so high as to destroy racial barriers in its wake, but then there’s Pacific Rim where he gave the mother of all inspirational speeches as well as Mandela: Long Walk To Freedom where he imbued one of the greatest political prisoners of all time with all the pathos that the role deserved. So, naturally, I was looking forward to seeing him step back into the cat-and-mouse action scene. Is it going to be worth seeing even with him in mind, or am I setting myself up for another fall? Dear God, I hope it’s the former.

The Jungle Book (2016) - Movie Review

In the canon of important modern directors, I’m honestly surprised that Jon Favreau doesn’t get brought up more often in conversation. Sure, his work is sometimes hit-and-miss with critics (sometimes for no good reason like with Cowboys & Aliens) but when you put him into context with the current state of superhero films, he played a crucial role in getting where we are right now. 2008’s Iron Man was a serious make-or-break situation for the Marvel Cinematic Universe; if they screwed up, we wouldn’t have gotten the proceeding 8 years of astoundingly consistent output from Marvel Studios.

Hindsight does funny things to people, and sure, Robert Downey Jr. set a precedent for pitch-perfect casting in Marvel films, but if it wasn’t for Favreau’s engagingly populist style, we’d be looking at a far different landscape right now. After the lukewarm response to Iron Man 2, which admittedly wasn’t amazing but still decent, he went on to Cowboys & Aliens… and then he made Chef, which was basically his own admission of how difficult it is to break out of the big leagues and just make his own products. Well, he seems to be working with Disney once again with today’s film, a re-telling of one of Disney’s perennial classics.

Zootopia (2016) - Movie Review

It’s Disney time again! It’s also discussion of modern-day racism time again! … I can’t be alone in thinking that these two shouldn’t be together. Sure, teaching kids from an early age that discrimination be bad is always good, but when directly dealing with racist attitudes, it tends to get a lot more complicated than even the more intelligent filmmakers give it credit for. Yeah, treating someone differently because of their skin colour is pretty basic stuff, but then there’s the continuing discussion about the root of such things. Hell, the word ‘racism’ seems to wildly vary in terms of definition, some attributing more direct labels to it than others. Now to add Disney to the mix and, while I give them all the goddamned credit in the world for making something as poignant as Inside Out, their habit of Disneyfying complex issues is well on record by this point. I mean, one of the last times they looked at racism was with Pocahontas and… well, let’s just say that ‘surface level’ would be putting it very generously. But, given how the world has decided to heap on the praise for this film’s approach on the subject, I figure looking into the background of its depiction in family films was worth delving into first. If for no other reason than to set myself up for a fall in case it should happen; in the name of Katzenberg, I hope I’m wrong.

Beasts Of No Nation (2015) - Movie Review

Well, after our last encounter with straight-to-NetFlix films, I can safely say that I am rather sceptical about this. Then again, that’s like if the first movie I ever saw at the cinema was bad and I immediately thought every film shown there was bad. Of course, given my record for pessimism in my reviews, that might actually be the case for all I know. Anyway, tangent, we have a film about African child soldiers to deal with. Grab a stiff drink, ‘cause I think we’re all gonna need it.

The Gunman (2015) - Movie Review

Sean Penn is one of those legendary Hollywood actors that even if you’ve somehow managed to never see anything that they’ve been in, you most certainly know the name at least in passing. As someone whose knowledge of cinema mostly consists of what came after the year 2000, it should come as no surprise that I’m not as familiar with Penn’s work as I should be. Outside of some surface knowledge about his relationship with Madonna and how badly that ended up, I’ve only seen him in one other film to my knowledge: 2013’s Gangster Squad, where he was exceptionally awesome as the enemy gangster Mickey Cohen. In fact, that performance was just that good that I’m actively excited about this based on that alone. So, how does Penn turn out in what looks like an attempt to Takenise him, what with this being directed by the same guy who made Neeson a modern day action fixture?