A Boy Called Christmas (2021) - Movie Review

I’ve encountered quite a few films like this over the lifespan of this blog. These family-friendly, secular-reason-for-the-season Christmas origin stories like Klaus and The Man Who Invented Christmas that, rather than just retell the Biblical genesis (heh) of the holiday, take a more contemporary approach that acknowledges that it’s not just the religious that celebrate this time of year.

And coming from these particular creatives, I’d lying if I said I was entirely hopeful that this could hold up alongside those other two classic efforts. This is directed and co-written by Gil Kenan, who is not only co-writer on the upcoming Ghostbusters: Afterlife, but who we last checked in on with the totally unnecessary remake of Poltergeist, and also co-written by Ol Parker of Best Exotic Marigold Hotel and Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again fame. If nothing else, this should be make for some interesting write-up fodder.

Jojo Rabbit (2019) - Movie Review

In June of 2017, in-between being named New Zealander Of The Year and making Thor: Ragnarok, filmmaker Taika Waititi made this video in collaboration with the New Zealand Human Rights Commission.

It’s hard to imagine anyone other than Waititi making something like this. A video so bursting with ironic social cringe, made by a creative who has built an entire career out of weaponising it, that its discomfort can make it difficult to watch. Being able to sell the message that even the smallest act of racism adds to the larger picture (basically the concept of micro-aggressions in a nutshell) is what immediately won me over that this is the guy who should make a fascist satire in a “you couldn’t make a Mel Brooks movie today” cultural climate. And thankfully, the man does not disappoint.

The Girl In The Spider's Web (2018) - Movie Review

Ever sit down for a test, only to realise that you somehow missed two-thirds of the study material you needed to pass it? That’s what watching this film feels like. The story is all over the place on its own merits, tantalising a battle of wits between reigning badass cyber punk Lisbeth Salander (played with a continually-wavering accent by Claire Foy) and her twin sister Camilla (played adequately by Sylvia Hoeks), only we never quite get that. What we do get is a slurry of spy shenanigans, cat-and-mouse games winding around each other, and enough missed opportunities to make one slam their head against a wall in frustration.

Table 19 (2017) - Movie Review

Even with the amount of hatred I’ve been able to generate over the pretty awful films I’ve covered over the last few years, I have rarely if ever been ungrateful for having sat through them myself. I say that because even the worst films still have enough good grace to give me things to dissect and write about. In fact, it is usually the bad ones that give me the most material, as blind fury is often an easier feeling to express than anything pleasant. This entire blog exists because of my own love for film and writing about film, so I'd be a bit stupid if I was entirely ungrateful for the films that give me the best material to work with. Hell, I'd even go so far as to say that some of my best work has come out of the more egregiously awful films that I've sat through.

 

However, every so often, there comes a film that is so bland, so dull, so not engaging that I am left struggling to properly articulate how I truly feel about the work. We’ve unfortunately got another one of those today so, as you read this, understand that every single word on this page was wrung out of my brain with quite a bit of effort. tl;dr Sorry if this review turns out too boring to slog through.