The Chaperone (2019) - Movie Review

Time to delve into what is quickly becoming my critical kryptonite as we take a look at another costume drama. Not only that, it’s a costume drama from both the writer and director of Downton Abbey, the former of whom has already made it onto my watchlist for penning the incredibly misguided Crooked House. Knowing that a big screen adaptation of Downton Abbey is set for release later on this year, it seems I had better get used to this level of drabness. Honestly though, I’m just hoping we’ve hit the bottom of their respective barrels because I don’t think I can take something that turns out even blander than this did.

The first big problem here comes from the casting, in particular the main duo played by Haley Lu Richardson and Elizabeth McGovern. They both do well enough in their roles, with Richardson still channelling that larger-than-life charisma to a character who truly deserves such a performance, but it’s a bit strange to hear two actors with natural American accents and yet thinking that McGovern just doesn’t fit. It makes the attempts at accents not just between them but from most of the actors here sound suspect, chipping away somewhat from the dramatic touches.

Of course, said dramatic touches are more like light brushes compared to anything with real impact, to the point where I seriously question why any of what we are seeing is on-screen. Just for a taste of how out-of-sorts this can get, there are numerous mentions and nods to Richardson’s Louise Brooks and her career in cinema. All of which are relegated to literal lip service and posters, since all we end up seeing is her at the Denishawn dance school. It’s an annoying disconnect between show and tell that would be quite distracting if the writing didn’t accomplish that all on its own.

Since the bulk of the story takes place in Roaring Twenties-era New York City, there are attempts made to highlight the social issues of the day like racial segregation, prejudice against homosexuals and Prohibition. Right from the first scene, we not only get an eyeful of this intention but also a look at just how wonky it turns out throughout. In the introductory scene for Louise, a dance performance in her home in Wichita, Kansas, McGovern’s Norma chats with the people sitting next to her who mention rather casually that they are going to join the Klan. It’s a moment that ultimately goes nowhere, and ends up being the most engaging moment of the entire film… but for all the wrong reasons.

From there, the attempts to comment on 1920’s America feel both overeager and lethargic in regards to what gets brought up. Knowing this adaptation is coming from the pen of a literal British Lord, I can’t help but see this as an attempt to dissect a culture while being all too far away from it to be able to accurately make the incisions. And yes, I get the mild hypocrisy in me saying that, considering how many different social issues I end up discussing in these reviews despite my own lack of proximity to some of them. But at the very least, I bring those issues up when they arrive in due course, as part of a bigger discussion. Here, it’s like they’re being discussed out of mandate, resulting in some unfortunately sloppy attempts at drama.

And what makes that worse is that, without those attempts to talk about bigger issues, there would be even less to this flick than there already is. It is frankly embarrassing how dull and lifeless this film is, so much so that this is the first film in quite a while where I found myself actively fighting the urge to sleep while watching it. Even considering my long-standing disinterest in this genre, that isn’t enough to excuse how drab and frankly boring this is. And what’s worse is that, before the year is even out, it’s likely that I’ll be subjected to even more of this shit with the Downton Abbey film.