Knives Out (2019) - Movie Review

Films like this… intimidate me. As someone who writes about every new movie I watch, I certainly don’t make it a habit of hiding my true feelings in regards to pretty much anything I’ve written about here, whether I love it, hate it, or walked away unfathomably bored. But my come-up as part of the wider YouTube angry critic scene has definitely influenced how I approach all of those features. If something is bad, I hold no qualms in outlying every single way it has failed… but what about the opposite? What about those films that are just so engaging, so well-crafted, so endearingly good?

Surely, a film that is entirely positive is an impossible thing; no film is perfect, and even with films I love, I usually bring up even the most minor of issues to keep things balanced. Then there comes a film like Knives Out where, no matter how hard I strain my grey matter, I struggle to find fault in what it presents. I don’t know if this film is indeed perfect, but holy shit, it's so damn close that there's nary a difference.

Hereditary (2018) - Movie Review

The plot: After the death of her mother, Graham family matriarch Annie (Toni Collette), her husband Steve (Gabriel Byrne) and their children Peter (Alex Wolff) and Charlie (Milly Shapiro) try to adjust to the tragedy. However, they soon discover increasingly strange disturbances going on in their house, and Annie begins to discover some strange things about her family history. It seems that the Graham family is under threat by some force, but is it something foreign to them or is it something that has been with them from the beginning?

Jasper Jones (2017) - Movie Review

Ah, Levi Miller; it takes something truly special to cause a feedback loop between my willingness to promote child actors and my propensity for labelling Australian actors as warning signals that a film they are attached to will be garbage. To be fair, I doubt anyone could make “my first lead role was in Pan” sound like a promising start to a career; even the established actors in that thing barely escaped with their livelihoods intact. But once you follow that up with the truly lacklustre follow-up to an Aussie classic that is Red Dog: True Blue, things start looking a little dicey. I mean, we’re supposed to be good at supporting our own burgeoning talent and even we’re struggling with this kid. Well, maybe today’s film will be different… and by that, I mean that I am sincerely hoping that today’s film will be different

xXx: Return Of Xander Cage (2017) - Movie Review

In light of the success of the Fast & Furious series, this film’s existence shouldn’t be too surprising (even with its copied lack of the word “The” in the title), but still, I have to ask: Why is this a thing? A relic of the short-lived xtreme sports craze, directed by our favourite midlife crisis filmmaker Rob Cohen, XXX tried to make its mark by being harder and cooler than James Bond… and even when Bond was at its most laughable, it still failed miserably. Add to this the even weaker follow-up State Of The Union, directed by the man responsible for Bond’s worst outing to date with Die Another Day, and you have a “franchise” that is pretty much dead on arrival.

Well, considering Vin Diesel is at the height of his popularity right now thanks to not only Fast & Furious but also Riddick and Guardians Of The Galaxy, I kind of get why this follow-up exists. I mean, maybe this film could make the Fast Five transition and find its own niche as a sports stunt-heavy action flick. Coming from the director of last year’s The Disappointments Room, I’m not holding out much hope.

Miss You Already (2015) - Movie Review

My past reviews of films featuring Kristen Stewart have made running jokes out of this, but in all honesty it’s a really good thing that the stars of former record-holder for Biggest Godwin’s Law Breaker, Twilight, have moved past that famed series. Anna Kendrick has become an accomplished actor/singer thanks to films like Pitch Perfect and Into The Woods, Robert Pattinson has done acclaimed work with visionaries like David Cronenberg, and Kristen Stewart has come to seriously impress crowds thanks to films like Camp X-Ray, Still Alice and American Ultra. Not only that, regular writer of the series Melissa Rosenberg has entered into the Marvel Cinematic fold with the web series Jessica Jones and Stephanie Meyer… has largely gone quiet and rested on her franchise royalties, thank all things right with the world.

[whispering from behind me, even though this is a text review and not in any way audio/visual where this could be properly conveyed]

Wait, she wrote what?

[more inaudible whispering]

Oh, for crying out loud!

Well, point is, for the most part, they’ve largely moved on from that crater of a saga. But what about the original film’s director Catherine Hardwicke?

Blinky Bill: The Movie (2015) - Movie Review

In the canon of iconic Australian children’s television, there’s a lot more to us than Skippy the Kangaroo; hell, I still haven’t seen an episode of that show and I’ve lived here all my life. You’ve got the surreal and boundary-pushing morality tales of Round The Twist, the endlessly imitated artistry of Mr. Squiggle and the latest addition to the CGI hostile takeover Bananas In Pyjamas, just to name a few. Amongst this collection of oddities is the hallmark animation franchise Blinky Bill, a series of adaptations of the Dorothy Wall book series about a mischievous koala bear and his friends; yeah, it turns some stereotypes surrounding Australia ended up being true.

Brought to the big and small screens by the Aussie Don Bluth Yoram Gross, it made for a very environmentally-vivid part of many a childhood including my own. I still remember a competition at my primary school where I won a stuffed kangaroo because I knew one of the character’s names off-by-heart. Of course, considering the aforementioned decline of the dressed bananas, is this character capable of surviving in today’s Cartoon Network-influenced market? Time to find out with this latest cinematic iteration of the series.