The Marvels (2023) - Movie Review

Judging the current state of the MCU, this film could go either way. And I’m not even factoring in the myriad of behind-the-scenes issues the franchise has run into in recent years, from Jonathan Majors going to court, to recurring audience fatigue from the extent of the MCU assembly line, to how said assembly line has grown so big that they are now running into the issue of losing in competition with themselves, given how the second season of Loki basically eclipsed this film’s release.

No, I’m just talking in regards to what Phase Five has already given us this year alone. On one hand, there’s Quantumania, a clearly derivative and bizarrely uninteresting entry that felt very made-by-committee. And on the other, there’s GOTG Vol. 3, which succeeds because it is the product of a singular vision, giving the overarching franchise a booster shot of individual creativity that seems to be increasingly lacking post-Phase Three. James Gunn isn’t the only auteur to work on the MCU (Taika Waititi, Ryan Coogler, and Sam Raimi definitely fit into that category), but Vol. 3 (in my opinion) benefited the most from having that kind of distinguishable artistic voice behind it. That Gunn has now jumped over to heading DC Films has been taken as a sign that the kind of identifiable uniqueness that Vol. 3 showed amongst its contemporaries isn’t likely to repeated by Marvel any time soon.

With all that in mind, I wasn’t sure what to expect from this. I mean, I liked the first Captain Marvel (although I’m starting to chalk that up to being familiar with Brie Larson as an actor long before that film became a talking point, which I’d wager a guess isn’t the case for the Johnny-hate-latelys that have been on her arse since), but I am also starting to run a bit ragged on the MCU myself. It’s been heading towards the continuity threshold for a while now, where everything is so interconnected that it can feel unapproachable unless you’ve done all the homework beforehand, this film being no different. Along with the first Captain Marvel, this also has ties to WandaVision, Ms. Marvel, Secret Invasion, and to a lesser extent Thor: Love And Thunder and Hawkeye. I’ll admit that I haven’t seen all of the lead-in material, and quite frankly I’ve felt less inclined to keep up with it all as the years go on, but I’m still willing to give this film a chance. And frankly, I’m glad I did.

Paws Of Fury: The Legend Of Hank (2022) - Movie Review

Ever hear the argument that political correctness has gone so screwy that you couldn’t make a Mel Brooks movie today? Well, outside of how much of a chode point-of-view that is to begin (and how the existence of films like Jojo Rabbit pretty much defeat that line of reasoning), it is at least partially correct in this film’s case. Originally titled Blazing Samurai, this loose remake of Brooks’ Blazing Saddles (to the point where all five of Saddles’ co-writers are credited on this) has been in numerous states of production and release limbo for several years. And we’re not just talking about the COVID shuffle either; this thing has been batting around since 2010.

Considering my lengthy history with sub-par animated films starring talking animals, and how much I respect Brooks’ work on the original, I’ll admit that I wasn’t all that enthused about this film even in its early stages with that crack of sumo cat teaser poster. It finally seeing release after spending so long percolating must have been a massive relief for all parties involved, and I certainly get that (any film that makes it all the way from conception to public release is nothing short of a miracle if you know anything about the industry), but how does that translate into the viewing experience? Well… it’s kinda complicated.

Spiral: From The Book Of Saw (2021) - Movie Review

I’m probably going to make a habit of saying this over the next few months, now that the COVID shuffle has begun to ease up and all the big franchise pictures from last year are finally primed for release, but it’s especially true for this film in particular: I have been hyped for this for well over a year. The Saw series remains my all-time favourite movie franchise, Saw III is one of my all-time favourite films, and for as much of a remix as it was, the Spierig Brothers’ Jigsaw was a satisfying effort. I look forward to new Saw movies the same way Nintendo kids look forward to new Zelda games; I hunger for shit like this.

Unicorn Store (2019) - Movie Review

Hope you’re in the mood for some whimsy because we got it by the bucketful with this one. In fact, after watching this, I feel like I’m about to pass glitter like a bloody kidney stone. Given my more recent TV-watching habits (I’ve been getting through My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic over the last few months), I feel like I’ve steeled myself as best I can for something like this, and it definitely helps that it involves film creatives that I quite like already, but this… this is tough to get through, and what makes things weirder is that the film might have a really, really good point behind it. Like, the kind of point that warms itself to my Peter Pan Syndrome-stricken heart.

Shaft (2019) - Movie Review

John Shaft, the man who built the foundation on which the blaxploitation genre would be built, has had a weird after-life. From the two Richard Roundtree-starring sequels to the classic original, to the 2000 sequel/reboot with Samuel L. Jackson, to today’s film which serves as yet another sequel and another quasi-reboot. The original is a pretty solid effort with an all-time greatest soundtrack, and the 2000 reboot was a bit muddled but still quite entertaining, so maybe this one will turn out alright. Well, considering all three films have the exact same name, let it be known that the confusion with this mess only starts from there.

Captain Marvel (2019) - Movie Review

With Avengers: Endgame right around the corner, this prequel to the franchise that changed superhero cinema as we know it has a lot riding on it. It has to not only deliver as yet another Marvel flick, but it also has to sell the idea that this superhero, Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel, is the progenitor to everything we’ve seen in the MCU thus far and deliver one final setup before Endgame officially closes this chapter for good. Knowing how recent movies have turned out in regards to build-up vs. pay-off, with both Marvel and DC struggling in their own ways over the last handful of years, this really could go either way. Which is why I’m pleased to report that this film does pretty much everything it needed to succeed, starting with the casting.

Glass (2019) - Movie Review

For all of M. Night Shyamalan’s cinematic faults, from the incredibly goofy like The Happening to the phenomenally condescending like Devil to the outright banal like After Earth, there is one thing that can never be taken away from him: He knows superheroes. With Unbreakable, he established a world where superheroes and supervillains exist in a world all too similar to our own. With Split, he introduced a more forcefully psychological touch to that world, unveiling another supervillain whose entire existence is owed to the way the mind processes trauma. And with Glass, he brings both halves together to create a truly astounding piece of superhero fiction.

Incredibles 2 (2018) - Movie Review

The plot: Shortly after their battle with the villainous Syndrome, the superpowered Parr family comprised of father Bob/Mr. Incredible (Craig T. Nelson), mother Helen/Elastigirl (Holly Hunter) and their children Violet (Sarah Vowell), Dash (Huck Milner) and Jack-Jack (Eli Fucile) are in trouble with the law once again. However, brother-sister tech magnates Winston (Bob Odenkirk) and Evelyn (Catherine Keener) want to change that and make superhero work legal once again. As they work with Elastigirl, Mr. Incredible and Frozone (Samuel L. Jackson) to change public perceptions of superheroes, a new villain waits in the wings to make an example of our heroes and make sure that they never take the spotlight again.

The Hitman's Bodyguard (2017) - Movie Review

The plot: Disgraced bodyguard Michael (Ryan Reynolds) has been tasked with protecting hitman Darius Kincaid (Samuel L. Jackson), a key witness in the criminal trial against dictator Vladislav Dukhovich (Gary Oldman). As they try and manoeuvre their way to the courthouse, they have to deal with Dukhovich’s hired goons, the local police and even each other to make it there in one piece.

Kong: Skull Island (2017) - Movie Review

Japan has a certain monopoly on classic city-shredding monsters, what with the king of monsters Godzilla and his rogue’s gallery well and truly ingrained in the popular consciousness. But damn it all if the West doesn’t have its own colossal champion which also represents quite a few milestones for the art of cinema: The big bad gorilla King Kong. Whether it’s the ground-breaking effects work of the 1933 original, the years-in-the-making passion project of Peter Jackson’s 2005 version, to the 1960 introduction between the beasts in King Kong Vs. Godzilla, the Eighth Wonder of the World has quite a colourful history. I’ll admit that I’m not as big into giant monster movies as I probably should be, but I am at least willing to hear it out… even if the trailers didn’t exactly instil hope for this one. So, as we delve into the next step in yet another cinematic universe, how does it hold up? This is Kong: Skull Island.

xXx: Return Of Xander Cage (2017) - Movie Review

In light of the success of the Fast & Furious series, this film’s existence shouldn’t be too surprising (even with its copied lack of the word “The” in the title), but still, I have to ask: Why is this a thing? A relic of the short-lived xtreme sports craze, directed by our favourite midlife crisis filmmaker Rob Cohen, XXX tried to make its mark by being harder and cooler than James Bond… and even when Bond was at its most laughable, it still failed miserably. Add to this the even weaker follow-up State Of The Union, directed by the man responsible for Bond’s worst outing to date with Die Another Day, and you have a “franchise” that is pretty much dead on arrival.

Well, considering Vin Diesel is at the height of his popularity right now thanks to not only Fast & Furious but also Riddick and Guardians Of The Galaxy, I kind of get why this follow-up exists. I mean, maybe this film could make the Fast Five transition and find its own niche as a sports stunt-heavy action flick. Coming from the director of last year’s The Disappointments Room, I’m not holding out much hope.

Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children (2016) - Movie Review

Sometimes, a film comes out where the filmmaker(s) and subject matter match each other that well that you start to question why it’s only now that such a connection was made. On one hand, you have director Tim Burton, a man whom has made a career out of telling stories of pale-skinned outsiders and giving them their rightful place in the world. On the other, we have the modern YA adaptation sub-genre, which has latched onto the public consciousness through teenaged empowerment fantasies of going against the system that wronged them. Add to this screenwriter Jane Goldman, whose work with Matthew Vaughn embodies that same air of acknowledging and celebrating the abnormal, and you have probably the most ideal combination of any film this year… in theory, at least. After all, as much I like Burton, Goldman and some of the higher-profile YA adaptations (I maintain that The Hunger Games is still an amazing film series), none of the above are immune from being rubbish. Last year’s me may argue this point, but I hadn’t yet seen Mars Attacks at that point; this year’s me knows that this guy is capable of making crap. So, even with all the right pieces in place behind the scenes, how does the final product look?

The Legend Of Tarzan (2016) - Movie Review

Since getting back into a regular routine with my movie-watching again, I’ll admit that what I’ve been looking at over the last little while have been pretty good overall. Hell, the only real down point of late (Jem And The Holograms) was only watched by yours truly as a Plan B; I originally set out to see Suicide Squad with a friend but, due to matters outside of both of our controls, we were unable to. Will that film break the streak when I eventually get to it? Too late, honestly, because this film seems to have done it for me. Now, even though the classic Disney iteration of Tarzan was the first film I ever remember watching in the cinemas, that isn’t going to factor into how I see this. The problems with this one are so numerous that I don’t even need to.

The Hateful Eight (2016) - Movie Review

No other singular person in the world of cinema has given more credence to the importance of the screenwriter than Quentin Tarantino. He’s basically an alternate reality version of Randal from Clerks who decided that, rather than bitching about how shit movies are nowadays, actually did something about it and began making his own. After starting off his career with a loud bang with the festival success of Reservoir Dogs, he continued to carve a name for himself with his unique approach to character writing and his homage-heavy fan-boy sensibilities as a story-teller. Unless we’re talking about the film-about-nothing Death Proof or the comedic abomination that is It’s Pat, you’d be hard-pressed to find a film in his filmography that is abjectly bad. So, naturally, when news hit about his latest release, weather reports also came in of a tidal wave of fan-boy drool that threatened to destroy the world. Then there was news of Tarantino taking the film on a roadshow screening tour of Australia, in crisp 70MM film stock. Would probably lose my buff card if I didn’t attend something like that, so bear in mind that everything that follows may differ from the traditional theatrical release as the version I watched was an extended cut. This is The Hateful Eight.

Avengers: Age Of Ultron (2015) - Movie Review

With the current cinematic dictatorship Hollywood is under thanks to Marvel Studios, it’s easy to see the point of view of people who are getting sick of comic book movies considering not only the frequency of their output but also the insane amounts of preparation they put into their releases, ensuring said frequency for the next several years. However, given the rather lacklustre comic book fare that came before Iron Man curb-stomped its way into the public consciousness (Look at any list online for worst films ever made, and I guaran-damn-tee you that several of the entries will be older superhero films) as well as my own preference for the genre, I’m not sharing in that thought process. So, when the release date came out for the follow-up to Joss Whedon’s 2012 geekgasm The Avengers, I joined in and added to the already copious amount of fanboy drool in the ocean. But, considering how legendary the original has become in such a short amount of time, how does this hold up?

Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015) - Movie Review

'Mark Millar' and 'movie adaptation' have a very odd relationship with each other: While the films adapted from his work are mostly good, they take a lot of liberties with the source material. Kick-Ass, through its re-writing of Big Daddy's character, completely shifted the tone of the film and made it a lot less bleak which actually worked to the film’s benefit. Wanted, save for the main character’s abilities and backstory, has pretty much nothing else to do with the original book, a definite shame given its initial premise. Since Millar and director Matthew Vaughn struck gold before with Kick-Ass, it would make sense that he would also bring his book The Secret Service to the big screen. It doesn’t hurt that Vaughn was co-plotter on the original book as well.