Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets (2017) - Movie Review

Outside of Luc Besson being an idiosyncratic director (shorthand for “he has his own style that I am unable to put into words”), I don’t have anything new to say about the guy that I haven’t already said in reviews past. As such, I’ll forgo my usual introduction and just get right into this thing because I am legit excited to be talking about this movie.

Atomic Blonde (2017) - Movie Review

Over the past couple years, mainly off the back of the now-legendary Mad Max: Fury Road, Charlize Theron has become the female action icon that, honestly, we need right now. I know that this might sound a bit reactionary after the pleasant success of Wonder Woman, and especially in light of certain… comments that have been made about it recently, but we don’t really have a lot of bankable female action heroes right now. Not to say that they just don’t exist (hell, I’ve been singing Scarlett Johansson’s praises for a while now) but I specify “bankable” because money talks and we’re still in this weird position of hesitance in letting these actors get their fair share. So, in light of another widely-popular action reinvention in the form of the John Wick movies, Theron tapped Wick co-director David Leitch to give her a fighting chance. Does that chance pay off?

Transformers: The Last Knight (2017) - Movie Review

Of all the cash cows for critics of bad films, no franchise can compete with the lumbering juggernaut that is Michael Bay’s Transformers series. From the rampant idiocy on display throughout to the frequent moments of sexist, racist and otherwise crappy behaviour in the characters, right down to his widely-lampooned visual overload style of direction, Bay has been a walking target for at least a decade by this point. And finally, after showing sympathy for the guy’s more recent efforts as director and even producer, I have an excuse to get involved in this whole mess myself.

 

To date, I have seen all the previous Transformers flicks in the cinema, and I can hardly recall a series with so many immediately and hilariously terrible moments as Bay’s ode to the adolescent boy in us all. And apparently, judging by initial press reactions, this seems to be the worst entry yet. How in the hell is that possible? Let’s dive right in and discover the extremely depressing answer.

Kong: Skull Island (2017) - Movie Review

Japan has a certain monopoly on classic city-shredding monsters, what with the king of monsters Godzilla and his rogue’s gallery well and truly ingrained in the popular consciousness. But damn it all if the West doesn’t have its own colossal champion which also represents quite a few milestones for the art of cinema: The big bad gorilla King Kong. Whether it’s the ground-breaking effects work of the 1933 original, the years-in-the-making passion project of Peter Jackson’s 2005 version, to the 1960 introduction between the beasts in King Kong Vs. Godzilla, the Eighth Wonder of the World has quite a colourful history. I’ll admit that I’m not as big into giant monster movies as I probably should be, but I am at least willing to hear it out… even if the trailers didn’t exactly instil hope for this one. So, as we delve into the next step in yet another cinematic universe, how does it hold up? This is Kong: Skull Island.

Patriots Day (2017) - Movie Review

Since taking the art of cinema as seriously as I do nowadays, I have gained a greater appreciation for the films that I watch. Of the many boons that I consider myself gaining because of this, the one I hold closest to me is how I now attach specific names to features. Actors, directors and screenwriters behind the films I look at here have gained greater meaning to me and have led me to some works that I wouldn’t have batted an eye at beforehand. For example: "You mean the guy who made Back To The Future and Forrest Gump also made The Walk? Man, I gotta check this out!" That’s a statement that would never cross my lips a few short years ago, and I always get a bit of a kick from linking films together through the people involved in social situations.

However, there’s a flipside to that that not only links bad films to particular people, but also because it has made me more aware of the specific styles employed by most directors. In terms of today’s film, it’s what I’ve noticed about director/co-writer Peter Berg’s more recent filmography… and how his attachment to it didn’t exactly have me riveted to check it out. Why is this? Well, let’s get started and I’ll hopefully be able to explain why.

Ratchet & Clank (2016) - Movie Review

Knowing the track record for video game adaptations by this point, I should have no right to be looking forward to any of them… okay, save for Assassin’s Creed, but all in due time. Until then, we have a theatrical version of a pretty heavily ingrained part of my gaming childhood, one which continues to be awesome to this day. Even considering the PS2’s track record when it comes to platformers, R&C is still one of the most beloved by the fans, myself included. Its creative weaponry, its memorable characters, its utter lack of shame when it comes to toilet humour; Insomnia Games made a serious gem of a series. Have to admit, knowing that most of the original voice cast as well as the writers of the games are helping bring this film to life, I’m genuinely hoping for something good this time around.

10 Cloverfield Lane (2016) - Movie Review

Love The Coopers (2015) - Movie Review

Even with how Christmas is extolled as the season of cheer and goodwill, it’s also a notorious time of year for families to just explode at each other. To be fair, it does make sense for this to happen: Gather a bunch of people you only see once a year in a single house, and all those grievances they haven’t had a chance to air out before in person suddenly bubble up to the surface. Considering this, it is understandable for there to be a sizeable market for Christmas films involving dysfunctional family shenanigans. Probably the best example of this would be National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, a film that showed our capacity for both love and hate while still keeping that Yuletide charm. The closest I’ve gotten to reviewing this brand of film before would be with last year’s This Is Where I Leave You, which followed the family dynamics of the sub-genre only set them during a different religious event. Given how grouchy everyone can get when that time of year gets closer, this is just the kind of film to help bring families together… usually.

Flight (2013) - Movie Review

The Gambler (2015) - Movie Review

Mark Wahlberg has always struck me as an actor who is extremely dependent on his directors, given how capable and incapable he can appear on screen. You give him M. Night Shyamalan and he’ll direct him to be so wooden that he makes the plastic plants he’s talking to look like the foliage in Creepshow. On the other end, hand him to someone like Michael Bay and he’ll get him to emphasise the inherent stupidity of his character and make him scary and funny in his own right. It’s a bit of a crapshoot, is what I’m saying. So, in the hands of Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes director Rupert Wyatt, what kind of Mark Wahlberg do we get here?