Dear Fifty Shades (Fifty Shades Freed Review)

 

Dear Fifty Shades,

It is with a heavy heart and a reluctant hand that I pen this letter to you. With all the creations I have courted over the years, part of me wishes I would handle this the same way I have the others. But you are not any other creation. You and I have history together, and with everything I have put into this relationship, I couldn’t just leave you without explaining my side of the story. You may hate reading this as much as I hate writing it, but these words must be said. In the four years we have known each other, I haven’t exactly been quiet about what I perceive as your flaws. I once did this out of a sense of respect and wanting you to better yourself but… you just never stopped giving me things to notice.

Fifty Shades Darker (2017) - Movie Review

Well, the heavily-publicised holiday(?) of Valentine’s Day has come and gone, and hopefully you spent it better than I did. Back in 2015, I forewent the usual nothing I was planning on doing for this special day, put on my best suit and tie (that is to say my only suit) and went out to see Fifty Shades Of Grey on the big screen. I didn’t like it; here’s over 2000 words explaining why. Last year, things turned out a lot better with the release of Deadpool, and even considering my own misgivings with the film overall, it was still a fun night out. This year, it’s back to what I guess can be called business as usual with the follow-up to that film I am so utterly apathetic towards. So, I dusted off the same suit and (somehow) got someone else to tag along with me this time around, and sat down to prepare myself for what will be coming my way next year with the finale. Time to dig into this bewildering follow-up and see how exactly this managed to be even worse than the original.