Cha Cha Real Smooth (2022) - Movie Review

 

Last year, I looked at a film called Shithouse (or Freshman Year, as it rather lamely got retitled for its Australian release) as part of my work for FilmInk. I was quite floored by it, as it felt like a genuine expression of what the world looks like through the eyes of an introvert, and it was one of the biggest surprises I got from a film that year. Naturally, when discovering that director/writer/star Cooper Raiff already had a follow-up in the works, I knew I had to take a look at it before the end of the year. With the attachment of names like Dakota Johnson as co-star and producer, I went into this expecting more of the same that Shithouse delivered, but with something of a higher budget. But that’s not what I got. What I got was a film that exceeded how much I fell for Shithouse, but by going in the complete opposite direction.

The High Note (2020) - Movie Review

Not even a full twelve months after landing on my Best Of 2019 list, director Nisha Ganatra has already delivered with another serving of industry comedy-drama, switching this time from world of professional comedy to a look at the music industry. While I could unfortunately argue that this isn’t as fiery, or even as funny, as Late Night (and of course, I will do exactly that in a bit), it’s still a solid feature that puts the ‘soul’ in ‘cinematic soul food’.

Suspiria (2018) - Movie Review

Fresh off of the phenomenal Call Me By Your Name, director Luca Guadagnino’s latest is a serious left-hook: A remake of a classic Italian horror flick that, as I’ve gotten into in past reviews, has proven itself quite influential in the weirder realms of cinema. Since this is far more of a re-imagining of the original than a straight-up recreation of it, direct comparisons to that film are honestly a bit misleading. However, let’s get the more immediate basics out of the way: No, this version doesn’t have the same iconic Argento colour palette to it, and Thom Yorke’s soundtrack doesn’t hold a candle to the skin-crawling work of Goblin. So, is there anything that this manages to do better? Well, aside from those two, pretty much everything.

Bad Times At The El Royale (2018) - Movie Review

The plot: A priest (Jeff Bridges), a singer (Cynthia Erivo), a salesman (Jon Hamm) and a hippie (Dakota Johnson) all show up at the El Royale, a hotel that rests on the middle of the state border between California and Nevada. As they make themselves at home, under the attentive eye of concierge Miles (Lewis Pullman), the secrets and lies that brought them to this establishment begin to surface, and despite outward appearances, it seems like no one's hands are clean.

Dear Fifty Shades (Fifty Shades Freed Review)

 

Dear Fifty Shades,

It is with a heavy heart and a reluctant hand that I pen this letter to you. With all the creations I have courted over the years, part of me wishes I would handle this the same way I have the others. But you are not any other creation. You and I have history together, and with everything I have put into this relationship, I couldn’t just leave you without explaining my side of the story. You may hate reading this as much as I hate writing it, but these words must be said. In the four years we have known each other, I haven’t exactly been quiet about what I perceive as your flaws. I once did this out of a sense of respect and wanting you to better yourself but… you just never stopped giving me things to notice.

Fifty Shades Darker (2017) - Movie Review

Well, the heavily-publicised holiday(?) of Valentine’s Day has come and gone, and hopefully you spent it better than I did. Back in 2015, I forewent the usual nothing I was planning on doing for this special day, put on my best suit and tie (that is to say my only suit) and went out to see Fifty Shades Of Grey on the big screen. I didn’t like it; here’s over 2000 words explaining why. Last year, things turned out a lot better with the release of Deadpool, and even considering my own misgivings with the film overall, it was still a fun night out. This year, it’s back to what I guess can be called business as usual with the follow-up to that film I am so utterly apathetic towards. So, I dusted off the same suit and (somehow) got someone else to tag along with me this time around, and sat down to prepare myself for what will be coming my way next year with the finale. Time to dig into this bewildering follow-up and see how exactly this managed to be even worse than the original.

How To Be Single (2016) - Movie Review

Maybe it’s an age thing, but being single doesn’t really bother me all that much… about 99 times out of 100. That’s probably because I’m at that point of transitioning into full-on adulthood where I have a lot of other shit to worry about day-by-day. Of course, on that one day out of 100, it does end up getting me ever so slightly. And by "slightly", I mean I start looking like I should be listening to Simple Plan all friggin’ day. Being the social hermit that I am, talking with people isn’t necessarily something I am equipped to deal with these days. With this in mind, and everything I’ve said previously about what I’ve learnt from films, there’s that added layer of irritating that comes with most rom-coms. It’s kind of like hanging out with people who go on about how great their relationship is going and how much work it is to maintain; on both sides, it only serves to annoy. Probably explains why these are usually considered date movies in the first place; watching them while single isn’t exactly the best idea in the world. Regardless, here I am fulfilling my self-imposed obligation to see a film that I’m not exactly frothing at the mouth to go see. Let’s discover why.

Fifty Shades Of Grey (2015) - Movie Review

It seems like there’s a lot of need in the world of internet criticism to find the next Twilight; a romantic film or series of films that can capture the cynical zeitgeist and bring us so many reiterations of “This is so bad, it’s hilarious” that we inevitably grow tired of it in record time. We’ve had a couple of flashes in the pan in recent years, like The Host and a myriad of other YA adaptations, but nothing has really latched on with audiences yet or at least in the same way Twilight did. Well, when news that the most successful Twilight fanfiction of all time (no, seriously, that’s what it started out as) was getting a film adaptation, there was much frothing at the mouth that this might be just what the doctor ordered. But how does it actually turn out?