Ralph Breaks The Internet (2018) - Movie Review

Gee, this looks familiar. A family-friendly animated film about sentient programs travelling the Internet, finding a lot of recognisable websites, programs and properties along the way. Oh goodie, this work out so well last time. Here is where I would normally bring up the differences in studios and filmmakers this time around from that pile of rubbish, except that isn’t looking all that pristine either. Yes, this is the follow-up to a pretty damn good flick in Wreck-It Ralph, but with how the marketing for this has been looking all year, this way too easily could be just an excuse for Disney to parade its still-growing monopoly in the industry, showing off its latest acquisitions like a kid shows off their new toys. But putting aside any possible misgivings going into this, how does it actually turn out?

Justice League (2017) - Movie Review

 

This is the film event of the year but for all the wrong reasons. After the far-from-impressive track record of the DC Extended Universe up to this point, we now have the big team-up feature to kick things into high gear. But then the production issues started to pop up: Avengers writer Joss Whedon was tapped by Zack Snyder to write scenes for reshoots, then Snyder left the project due to family medical issues so Whedon had to direct the reshoots himself... and then Snyder hit up the Internet after the film's release, practically begging the public to show interest in his original cut for the film, rather than the one in cinemas which was edited down.

 

Knowing how scattershot the production values of all the DCEU films have been so far, with the highly lauded exception of Wonder Woman, this kind of production background isn't making me hopeful that this will be the one to finally push DC out of the red. But, as I've said before, I've always had a soft spot for superhero and comic book-related films; hell, I still think that Suicide Squad is a decent, if flawed, feature. Maybe that will kick in again and I'll walk away from this happy. Maybe.

Wonder Woman (2017) - Movie Review

As a means to contrast the enduring sense of dread I had in the lead-up to the release of Baywatch (you know, before I ended up liking it), today’s film has been a long and steady process of chanting “please don’t suck” over and over again every time I saw the marketing for this film. Knowing what DC is capable of in terms of stories, and how much their recent efforts have been underwhelming (I didn’t give nearly enough flack for the whole Granny’s Peach Tea insanity from BvS: Dawn Of Justice when I first reviewed it), I seriously wish that they would stop falling under their own strain and just make the DC Extended Universe worth watching. The closest we’ve gotten so far is Suicide Squad, and even then it ranks up there in terms of the most bewildering fanboy rage quits in recent years; it honestly seems like I’m one of the few people who was willing to give that film a chance.

 

So, in the wake of this film’s alarmingly warm reception, am I going to join the crowd for once or am I going to be the lone jackass wondering what the hell everyone else is seeing? Only one way to find out.

Keeping Up With The Joneses (2016) - Movie Review

Wow, I have not been looking forward to this one, more so than possibly any other film this year aside from God’s Not Dead 2. The reason why is down to two simple words: Isla Fisher. To the rest of the world, Isla is the woman married to Sacha Baron Cohen and one of the few Australian actresses that has all but completely assimilated into the Hollywood food chain. To us here in Australia, she’s the amazingly annoying redhead who flooded our screens with ads for ING. No joke, she had a “turn your phones off” bit that was a) irritating beyond all human reason and b) shown in front of about 90-95% of the films I saw last year. That’s close to 200 times that I had to hear her screech about how her phone ringing ruined her “perfect” take. Needless to say, I now have an irreparable hatred for Isla Fisher and, as a result, I am really not looking forward to seeing her on-screen again in any capacity.

Batman V. Superman: Dawn Of Justice (2016) - Movie Review

I briefly got into this same point when discussing The Death Of Superman Lives, but it bears repeating here: I seriously do not care about Superman. Whether it’s not being brought up in the right place or era where his brand of heroics would’ve left a proper impression, or just a general disdain for overpowered main characters in action films, Superman has never struck me as a character I should care to see on screen. This probably isn’t helped by how the only Superman film I’ve seen in full is 2013’s Man Of Steel, which might well be one of the most unheroic depictions of any superhero that doesn’t involve straight-up torture (Looking at you, unaired pilot of Wonder Woman). Anyway, to paraphrase fellow reviewer and frenemy of the blog Todd In The Shadows: “Being bulletproof is boring. I’d rather be the guy who gets shot and still keeps fighting.” Yeah, I’m backing Batman in this fight, in case it hasn’t already been made clear. There’s quite a bit riding on this film, considering it’s not only the latest reboot of the Caped Crusader but it’s also supposed to serve as the entry point for a DC cinematic universe… but since this is guaranteed to make money, I’m not going to pretend that that plan isn’t already going ahead. But should it, based on this initial outing?

Fast & Furious 6 (2013) - Movie Review

It’s catch-up time again on this blog, this time as part of the lead-up to Fast & Furious 7. I remember getting a triple DVD pack of the first three films in the franchise for Christmas one year and getting a tad obsessed with them for a time, to the point where they got me interested in racing games like the Need For Speed series just to further feed that hunger for high-octane ridiculousness. Honestly, it’s kind of spellbinding that what started out as a loose adaptation of a Vibe magazine article about an anonymous street racer has since turned into the primary action franchise of the 2000’s. The fact that this evolved out of a Rob Cohen film only makes this more confounding. So, before we get into the seventh instalment, time to check out the one that came.