Ride Like A Girl (2019) - Movie Review

When I was in high school, there were two major events that were deemed so important that our class was halted just so we could crowd around the wheeled-in television to witness them. The first was then-Prime Minister Kevin Rudd’s “Sorry” speech, apologising for the systemic racially-biased treatment of the Indigenous population of Australia. The other was the Melbourne Cup, with all of us taking lots to see if our arbitrarily-chosen horse won.

It’s a sporting event that stops the nation, one of the closest traditions we have to the NFL Superbowl, and it’s one that has continued to sour in my memory over my lifetime, considering how it plays into our cultural history. Today’s film, a biopic about Michelle Payne, the first-ever female jockey to win the Melbourne Cup, is the first feature in a while that has outright forced me to consider the real-life side of the story being presented.

Hacksaw Ridge (2016) - Movie Review

In no uncertain terms, I don’t have the will nor the intestinal fortitude to ever consider joining the military. I’m a proper soft lefty that sees all life as sacred and not worth ending over what are usually rather petty squabbles, and the very thought of killing another person for any reason makes me incredibly uneasy. However, that doesn’t mean that I hold any ill will towards those who fight in my place. I may have my issues with the higher-ups who send them out, usually for the reasons why certain governments see fit to get involved in war, but I have nothing but respect for those who do the fighting themselves. Not that cinema seems to share that respect, though, as more times than not, modern military cinema goes for the murky and moralistic approach that is meant to make us question just whose lives are being affected, be it through death or otherwise. So, with noted firebrand Mel Gibson returning to the director’s chair, how does today’s war film turn out?

Lights Out (2016) - Movie Review

When going into certain films, I make it a point of (usually) doing my research if it involves looking at previous relevant films. For instance, in preparation for my review of Ice Age 5, I will go back and watch the previous four so I have a better idea of what I’m getting myself into. Is it any surprise that I haven’t gotten to it yet, with that in mind? However, this is an extremely rare occasion where I have already done my background work without even realising that I had. Last year, when I went to go see It Follows (you know, that film that wasn’t exactly the Oscars), it was preceded by an ad-hoc horror short film festival. Among the titles shown, which ranged from the clever to the supremely strange, was a 3-minute short called Lights Out. I didn’t think much of it at the time, probably because the audience I saw it with at the time hadn’t shut up yet and thought we were in an interactive screening, but apparently someone else did. RatPac-Dune, a production company that seems to be competing with Blumhouse for the most ubiquitous film producers of the era, picked it up and turned it into a full-fledged production. Did this film deserve such treatment, and is it capable of existing beyond its smaller origins?

The Choice (2016) - Movie Review

Like an irritating rash on the collective backside of cinema, Nicholas Sparks always comes back. For some mind-numbingly stupid reason, that I can assume involves some form of green paper, we’ve gone from getting only one adaptation every few years to getting one every year. The fact that two more of these fit within my purview for reviewing only makes that feel worse. I’ve discussed a couple of these on here before, like the head-on collision between hackneyed platitudes about destiny and accidental Freudianism that was The Best Of Me or the bordering-on-parody schlock of The Longest Ride. Given how I haven’t taken the time to check out his one ‘good’ work with The Notebook, I am once again at the point where I can only hope for unintentional comedy as my source of joy for this nearly two-hour piece of work.

Point Break (2016) - Movie Review

 

What is it about crime flicks that make them probably the most widely referenced and quoted of any genre? Even if you’ve never seen a Lethal Weapon film, chances are you’ve heard someone say “I’m getting too old for this shit” at least once in your life. Among the more widely influential would be 1991’s Point Break, which established a blueprint that would be followed by every film involving a cop/agent going undercover and making a connection with their target. Sure, it hasn’t aged well as a result of how much it’s been copied, not to mention its 90’s surfer musings about finding that rush, but it’s still a decent film in its own right. Can’t go wrong with Keanu Reeves giving one of his better performances and Patrick Swayze as the equally charismatic and recklessly thrill-seeking antagonist. So, naturally, it was going to get a remake at some point, and apparently no-one wanted to compete with it because this was the only film to be released come New Year’s Day. Or maybe it was because they didn’t want the shame of having to be connected to it in any way, even if just by the release date. Even though the real answer should be pretty damn obvious, let’s take a look just to be sure: This is Point Break.

Kill Me Three Times (2015) - Movie Review

This might go down as one of the most bizarrely marketed films I’ve seen this year, and considering we "only just" had The Interview earlier in the year, that is saying a lot. Allow me to break down the sequence of events here: This film apparently had a cinematic release here in Australia. That makes sense; it’s an Aussie film and we’ll seemingly support any local production with a pulse these days. However, I say ‘apparently’ because I can find evidence of only one cinema that showed it, and even then it was a Q&A screening with the director in tow. Compare this to the marketing done for the DVD release, which got a colossal upgrade in terms of media attention. I have never seen a DVD release get so much cinema advert time, not to mention poster space, as this film. With this rather sporadic attempt to sell the film, and its currently abysmal approval ratings, I can only assume that this was all done as a hasty salvage operation to make sure it turned in a profit by any means necessary. Jai Courtney isn’t as big of a red flag for a film as that background. Well, let’s see if the Simon Pegg assist can rescue this film any, although I seriously kind of doubt it.