Top 20 Nostalgia Critic Episodes

Well, after my major spleen venting from last time (which was met by alarmingly warm reception, might I add?), I feel a certain need to reiterate the main point of me doing all this in the first place. As much as this makes me come across as a rather hopeless fan-boy (which is kind of true), these people do mean a great deal to me both in terms of entertainment and broadening my own personal perspective on a number of things and none more so than the Nostalgia Critic. Hell, if I had any belief in it, I could almost carry this off as a tribute to his Avatar Episodes lists and twist it into me just trying to ensure balance. But really, it’s just a means for me to air out some dirty laundry I’ve been holding onto for a little too long. We’re not here to talk about all that again, though, as this time around I’m counting my picks for the Top 20 best episodes of the Nostalgia Critic.

#20: Demolition Man

It’s rare that a film becomes more timely after its initial release, especially when it's an action film soaked in 90’s tropes and starring Sylvester Stallone. Where Spoony’s review of the game got me interested in the film initially, this definitely cemented it for me as the Critic’s jabs at how the over-sanitized future depicted in the film is like some sort of Tumblrite utopia… and right now, I’m just wondering why the hell the word ‘Tumblrite’ doesn’t come up on my spell check. Maybe that future really is more prevalent now than we first thought.

#19: Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Launch

An initial showing of Doug’s more lenient sensibilities on media fandom, this video plays out a bit like a geek version of Mardi Gras. Yeah, it’s over-the-top and most people certainly won’t comprehend a lot of it, but the infectious sense of joy that floods these sorts of events are so potent that, if you’re in the area, you’ll feel compelled to join in regardless. Such is the case with the Critic, who spends some time poking fun at the fans, but then ends up joining them as the launch clock keeps ticking down.

#18: Felix The Cat: The Movie

Even considering he did a whole video devoted the biggest nostalgic mindfucks (a video that introduced me to the insane brilliance of animator Cyriak), this would have to be the most insane film he’s looked at so far. All the noise, all the character clutter, all the painful colour choices; it just plain hurts to think about, let alone watch. As such, the Critic goes into full crackdown mode as he breaks down just how much of the film doesn’t work and its use of tropes concerning filmmaking for children that, quite frankly, need to stop before we get any more kids schlock like this and Home. Also, “I want you to make him look like he’s dry-humping a trash can.”

#17: The Haunting

A subversion of the Critic’s semi-regular comparison series Old Vs. New, he forgoes the traditional format of breaking the individual elements of each iteration of the story and instead strictly points out how much the remake pulled a Zeno’s arrow in how badly it missed the mark. Sure, he gives credit to some decent casting decisions, and his over-the-top lauding over Catherine Zeta-Jones is still hilarious, but I think it’s the Critic’s comments about the depiction of gay and lesbian characters in fiction that really strike a chord with me. Mainly because, even though he’s directly talking about how the 90’s treated them, we’re still using the same writing styles even today; more’s the pity.

#16: Let’s Play Bart’s Nightmare

Yeah, bet you weren’t expecting this one. And no, I’m not trolling; I genuinely love this video. Ignoring the hideous backlash that came as a result of this infamous little number, the core joke that Doug was going for with this video about how Let’s Plays aren’t as easy as the layman may think actually works here. It comes across more like the Critic as a character is in over his head more than Doug as a person and, after the rage has died down, it’s easy enough to get that from his performance. That, and it’s some good reaction porn with how he just raves like a manic chimpanzee at the game itself.

#15: Mamma Mia!

Far better than I have ever been able to articulate it before (despite my best efforts), this review manages to pin down just about everything wrong with the prototypical ‘chick flick’. He even gets down to brass tacks when it comes to the issue of the comedy part of the romantic-comedy, leading to a point that I seriously wish was referred to more often as it’s an issue that never ceases to irk general movie-goers.

#14: Conquest Of The Commercials

I should really hate this video for making sure that that bloody “Zestfully Clean” jingle never leaves my head, but as usual his picks for nostalgic commercials to look at is top-notch. However, what makes this higher up than the other commercial specials is the inclusion of a certain famous animator that Doug has discussed at length before. Not spoiling anything for those who haven’t seen it, but who knew such a legend could have a stare that can burn through sheet metal.

#13: We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story

Much like Sage’s review of Twilight Of The Cockroaches, this review might be affected by how well you know the material it’s referencing, this time with Doug doing it in character as Raoul Puke, a parody of the similarly-named main character from Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas. Also like with Sage’s Critic routine, this video still works without being familiar with the character source; once again, this was my first encounter with anything to do with the film and not only did it not bother me, it sold me on what is now one of my all-time favourite films.

#12: Titanic: The Animated Movie

Easily one of the most consistently funny of the show’s run, both past and present, the Critic had a lot of good material gift-wrapped for him with this unfathomably sugar-coated depiction of one of the most infamous sea disasters of all time. While the rapping dog (yes, there’s one of those in this thing; that’s how out-of-touch it is) allowed for some good riffs, I think the best material he got came from the mariachi rats, particularly when they start singing.

#11: Top 11 Cereal Mascots

This is another occasion where, if I was listing purely on amount of times viewed, this would be #1… except this time, I’m not entirely sure why. Maybe it’s a more natural exhibition of his riffing on nostalgic marketing than his already excellent commercial specials. Maybe it’s because of the hefty dramatic air he gives some of these mascots, like the Trix rabbit being a Greek tragedy and Sonny the Cuckoo Bird being a sickly drug addict. Maybe it’s because it shows a certain level of serious analysis that would later blossom into greater things once the reboot came around. Or maybe it’s all of these things, I don’t know.

#10: The Worst Christmas Special EVER

After the already-thrashed Eight Crazy Nights review, have to admit, I was not looking forward to this one when it was first released. And yet, he more than manages to deliver on the title with some of the most jittery and almost schizophrenic animation, coupled with absolutely weaksauce voice acting, to be found outside of a Phoenix Games production. It probably helps that he closes out the review with an impromptu “THIS is what Christmas is really about” sentiment including not only the rest of the Critic team but also his family as well.

#9: The Last Airbender

The only episode of the show that has so far required an entire video series worth of setup before he even got to the film itself, this video not only highlights how bad this horrendous adaptation is but also how good the TV show is by comparison. He shows a real respect and admiration for the original cartoon, almost inversely proportional to the amount of respect Shyamalan had for the show when he was making the bloody movie. It also helps that he ends on a sentiment concerning franchises that seriously needs to be brought up more: A bad story doesn’t negate the good stories.

#8: A Tribute To Siskel & Ebert

A critic doing a tribute to other critics… I’m not going to say that I entirely ripped this one off, but I will say that it probably influenced me somewhere along the way while preparing for Meta Month. Actually, that comparison is kind of apropos because this video definitely showed one of the bigger hints of the inner fanboy that floats around a lot of Doug’s work. The amount of respect he shows for Siskel, Ebert and even Richard Roeper (despite their flaws) is palpable and it is kind of adorkable seeing him gush over the signed book that he got from Ebert himself. And then Ebert saw this video, tweeted Doug and Doug framed the tweet. Yeah, more than anything else, that level of admiration has to be commended. After a few of the tweets I’ve gotten in response to Meta Month, I can honestly say that it is certainly a thrill when senpai notices you.

#7: Pearl Harbor

Depicting a fictionalized version of Michael Bay’s career is a decent idea all on its own, but using it as a Jesus allegory? This video turned out a hell of a lot better than anyone could’ve guessed with a setup like that. The second episode to be made after the reboot, this was the first real inkling that this new, more skit-heavy approach by Doug might have been the best move for him to make. It also helps that a lot of his points about the film proper, in particular the way Bay seems to both love the military and feel fit to show them as incompetent, are justified and make for some good classic Critic rage-outs.

#6: Bio-Dome

Probably as a by-product of having sat through so many horrifically terrible comedies over the last few years, it’s kind of comforting watching a review where I can relate to just how much pain a person can go through while watching a bad comedy. It’s something akin to going insane, especially if you’re watching something that other people find funny (which might be the case for this film, I honestly don’t know); you feel like your whole reality is fucking warped. Because of this, seeing the Critic sit through easily one of the worst comedies ever gets some real sympathy going, and his riffing on the action is pretty much the only way any clips of this movie can be watched without immediate bleeding from the ears and eye sockets.
 

#5: Animaniacs Tribute

Full disclosure: I first found out about the existence of Animaniacs through the Critic’s Top 11 Naughtiest Animaniac Moments. Afterwards, whenever Pinky & the Brain would be on the TV when I got home from school, I just had to sit down and watch it. However, where the Siskel & Ebert tribute had the Critic in full fanboy mode, this allows for a few more traces of professionalism in the questions he asks. Not that this is dead serious, as it closes out on a bit of improv with the voice actors questioned that is just made of pure joy, but he strikes a good balance between the two.

#4: Moulin Rogue

While the concept of a review done in the style of a musical had been done before (*cough*Oancitizen*cough*) and would be repeated by the Critic after with a review of Les Misérables, this was the one that really gave some attention to the format. A collab between the Critic, Nostalgia Chick and Brentalfloss, along with a slew of other CA affiliates, this review did a good job at portraying what works and what so doesn’t bloody work about the film itself as well as its potential entertainment value. The songs also are very entertaining, particularly Phelous’ monotone growling on El Tango de Pretense.
 

#3: Devil

Even though Doug would sort of lampshade what he feels is his own weak writing with this one, in all honesty, this is a pretty well-written attempt to take the decent premise of the film and make it work. This is the kind of video that honestly improves with re-watches, as the character actions and motives start to make more sense when you see how they act during the video after the fact. No spoilers here, but the setup, the characters used, the points made about the film, the ending; this would be my go-to video to point out where storyline reviews can work, even in a vacuum.
 

#2: A Simple Wish

I have a very vivid memory of watching this video for the first time, and having my mind completely blown. The review itself is mostly the Critic reeling at the sheer insanity on screen and the extremely overwrought attempts to be funny, but then the ending comes around with a cameo that I don’t think anyone saw coming. This head-on collision between two crucial figures from my adolescence was a glorious thing to witness, and it provided a nice means for the Critic’s character to maybe re-evaluate how he critiques certain actors.

#1: Batman And Robin

Yeah, this one seems fairly obvious for the long-time fans, given the presence of the now-legendary “BAT CREDIT CARD!”, but this tops the list for different reasons than just pure entertainment value. Sure, this is one of the classic episodes of the show with good reason as, even with a slight plot recount hiccup, his comments are still solid. However, this particular video reaches first because, quite frankly, this is my first in more ways than one. This is the video that I was shown in that computer lab all those years ago that started my cinematic journey that led me to where I am now; this 17 minute video has had some of the most profound effect on my cultural mindset and how I approach pretty much any form of media. It is because of this guy that I began to realize just how crap films like Batman & Robin and Kazaam really are, but it’s also because of this video and the progress I’d make after it that I have been able to see the sheer artistry in my favourite films and enjoy them on a much deeper level. This isn’t so much a case of undying loyalty, but more undying gratitude.

Well, after such a proclamation as that, you’d think we’d be done by now. But no, we still have one last movie review to do and, much like the Batman & Robin review, this one has a certain amount of significance to me as well.

Top 20 Nostalgia Chick Episodes

Some of my more frequent readers (yep, all three of you) might recall some statements that I’ve made concerning modern feminism and, God help us, GamerGate. Without getting further into that big distracting sepulchre than we have to, know that a lot of the real arguments I have with the Nostalgia Chick are along those lines and… well, getting into political and socio-political matters aren’t exactly what I signed for this gig to do in the first place. Try not to read too heavily into that for an inkling on whether this is all coming from a Kotaku_In_Action guy or a GamerGhazi guy (although, for the record, I don’t really fall into either camp to begin with). Honestly, I’m more amazed at how this show actually ended up evolving as it went on. Starting out as a distaff counterpart for the Nostalgia Critic, Lindsay ended up shifting it more towards her traditionally trained point of view in regards to cinema and turned it into a more overall analytical approach that would go on to inspire its own niche in the reviewing market. As such, I’m choosing to honour this unexpected trendsetter with a rundown of what I believe are the top 20 best episodes of the Nostalgia Chick.

Special Mention: The Host Review

As usual, since this isn’t a part of the series proper (in fact, this is probably more in-line as a one-off special of 50 Shades Of Green more than anything else), it doesn’t get a numbered place on the list, but its worth is such that it deserved to be mentioned regardless. The Host itself holds a pretty major place in my growth as a critic, as watching it was the first stepping stone towards me watching films as religiously as I do now. But even without that in mind, seeing Lindsay and Nella go over just how plain broken this film is, along with its rather sexist attitudes towards sci-fi as a whole, is immensely satisfying to see. I also like how it ends on an unfortunately realistic note on the nature of female-lead genre films, where you end up laughing along with them and then a sudden downbeat feeling sets in about the current state of Hollywood.

#20: You’ve Got Mail

We’re at the stage where making fun of commercial plugs in videos has itself become as much of a cliché as its target, so episodes like this are a rarity in that its approach to that source of comedy actually works out. Through that, she mocks the film’s very rampant corporate tie-ins and the very tepid romance at its core, showcasing what is probably the most out-and-out bad of the Meg Ryan rom-comography.

#19: She-Ra: Princess Of Power

You know I’m a guy who loves good facial reactions, and this is another one of those picks. This was back during her more rudimentary days, so it doesn’t have much of the thematic breakdowns of her later work, but her riffing skills are still on point and she even throws in a slight nudge to the Critic’s rather homocentric critiques on works in the He-Man/She-Ra canon, while admitting that such jokes are kind of unavoidable with stuff like this. Also, favourite reaction face from her when she sees She-Ra heal an animal.

#18: The Christmas Shoes

The ultimate in Christmas cringe, this song and the attached TV movie that I still ashamed for now knowing exists are the kind of media that outright demand to be reviewed. Her outlying of how unintentionally asinine and borderline offensive the film’s message is, not to mention the insidiousness of the song it was borne from, is great and her reaction faces at times almost rival those from the She-Ra video.

#17: Jem And The Holograms

Yeah, back before the latest film iteration of the franchise, the original series was doing well enough on its own in terms of utter embarrassment. And speaking of which, the NChick team gets all glammed up in quite possibly some of the most intentionally ugly outfits I’ve seen and go over how the series really sucks, and yet there really isn’t that much to go over. Also, the musical montage of them trying to reverse the initial makeover is very funny.

#16: Blonde Girls Then And Now

This video is less Lindsay trying to rationalize the female pop scene of late, and more her trying to talk someone else off of a ledge as a response to it, even though she herself isn’t so content with the way things are. The way she starts out the video is “I’m here to tell: It’s okay”, a phrase that is repeated during the video, her analysis of singers like Lady Gaga, Ke$ha and Britney Spears carries with a certain despair that, for good or for ill, we’re stuck with them. It’s tragic on an astoundingly subconscious level, helped by how Lindsay herself twitches at some of the statements she makes within the video.

#15: Baby Whatever: Nostalgic Baby Dolls

Happy Meal Girl? HAPPY MEAL GIRL?! Someone greenlit this fucking idea?! Ahem… yeah, some of the toys found here range from the good, the bad and the “I pray that this doesn’t establish future behaviour”, but it gets even better when she and the rest of the NChick team mock up their own commercials for other ill-advised baby dolls. I have a certain fascination with marketing, and that’s essentially what this video amounts to: Marvelling at the demented genius that went into a lot of these products.

#14: My Little Pony

This video came out mere months before the premiere of the Friendship Is Magic series that would take the world by storm, which makes her arguments about the popularity of the franchise have an unexpected poignancy to them. She talks about the more interactive nature of the toys themselves, especially for the older fans, the content of the TV show and film (complete with creepy demon eyes) but this video is probably best remembered for Nella’s little fantasy epic involving her own MLP toys. Fun fact: Oancitizen first started getting noticed thanks to an analysis of that very story Nella told on the TGWTG forums. You can choose to irrationally love or loathe this video based purely on that factoid if you wish.

#13: Charlie’s Angels

As I started out with saying, I don’t exactly see eye-to-eye with some of the feminist ideals espoused by Lindsay on her show, so you can imagine my surprise when this video came out and kind of turned my preconceptions on their heads. The whole video is a treatise on what is and what isn’t female empowerment and Lindsay seems to be poking fun at both sides of the argument as she goes, even out-and-out declaring feminism ‘dead’ as a reaction to the male-gaze-y nonsense in the film being reviewed.

#12: Top 10 Worst Disney Sequels

For all the fist-shaking I’ve done at films like Planes: Fire & Rescue, I am more than aware that the Disney sequel machine is capable of producing far worse. At least 10 things that are worse, as illustrated by Lindsay just breaking a little more each time the next pick is brought up. Just for a taste of how bad this list gets, previous review target Beauty & The Beast: The Enchanted Christmas is indeed on the list, but it isn’t even the worst B&TB follow-up to be on there. Oh yeah. Lindsay well and truly went through the black hole to nab some of these titles.

#11: Kate And Leopold

I have made my own stance on the usual brand of female wish fulfillment in films many, many times before, but here is honestly where I have to tip my hat to a film that is just pure cheesecake that somewhat doesn’t immediately offend the senses. Maybe it’s got something to do with Hugh Jackman using the world’s supply of charm for his performance, which inspired not a good cavalcade of cameos in the review (complete with one of the Critic’s funniest moments) but also a final note that is could not possibly have been timed better if they tried. And yes, I double-checked: The film they mention is indeed real.

#10: The Little Mermaid

An internet critic having what is basically a hate intervention is already a compelling idea for a video, but when it’s connected to something that is held dear by a lot of Disney fans out there, it pushes past that into a compelling video in it of itself. The musical rebuttals from Nella and Elisa as well as Marzgurl, PushingUpRoses and Obscurus Lupa mix well with Lindsay’s pretty solid reasoning for disliking the film as she does, creating a good balanced perspective on the film overall. Also, bonus points for making a running gag out of avoiding a rather infamous bit of artwork on the original VHS cover for the thing.

#9: Top Ten Viral Videos From The Ancient Internet (Before YouTube)

A tribute to ye olden days of Internet memes, this video came as something of a minor revelation as a number of the videos mentioned like Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me and Moscow are things that little 20-year-old me remembers from back in the dial-up years. If nothing else, this video ranks up on here because it actually brought some mild clarity to the question of why I even knew who Dschinghis Khan was. It’s also nice to see a rundown of how a lot of what used to be popular online (read: copious randomness) ended up dictating an entire generation of content creators in the YouTube era.

#8: Reality Bites

Performed as an internal monologue via a letter to the 90’s about the current amount of nostalgia concerning the era, this review goes into the heavy sheen of hipster irony covering the film in question. Having watched Reality Bites after seeing this review, I don’t agree with every issue she has with it but she definitely gets across how the privileged mindset of the time seems really freaking petty in hindsight. Her comparisons to other media like The Lonely Island and Trainspotting to help illustrate the point are very well picked out as well.

#7: Disaster Movies Of Roland Emmerich

Released smack-dab in the middle of the Dark Nella arc, which is easily one of the weaker attempts at storylines out there, Lindsay details the Emmerich to the smallest detail. Even with her begrudging enjoyment of Independence Day, this video probably helped cement a lot of the issues I have with Emmerich’s work in my own mind, whereas Kyle’s review of Anonymous put the final nail in the coffin. After watching this, it’s highly unlikely that you’ll be able to see any of his films the same way again… provided you have the intestinal fortitude to sit through any of them more than once.

#6: The Sexual Awakening Of The Human Nerd

A nice mixture of cringe and reaction comedy as Nella and Elisa don their Dr. Block and Dr. Tease smocks and go around MAGFest interviewing reviewers about their own geeky sexual awakening. What helps with this whole setup is that there are varying degrees of willingness to play along among the crowd, from the more valiant like Sage and Marzgurl to the ones who just keep breaking like Angry Joe. While the experiment itself is a bit aimless, the results do bring up some interesting questions about childhood media’s impact on one’s own sexuality. But, as you can no doubt tell by now, I’m leaving questions like that for the professionals to ponder; I feel awkward enough pretending I know thing one about cinema in the first place.

#5: Les Misérables: The Musical

Unpopular opinion incoming but I like this review better than the Nostalgia Critic Les Mis review. The way Lindsay manages to blaze through the incredibly thickly-laden story of both the original novel and the musical adaptation as quickly as she did, with considerate effort, is definitely commendable and the renditions of the songs by the reviewers are very good. I especially like JewWario messes with Lindsay a little with a very funny lyric alteration.

#4: TLC And The 90’s

Definitely the most emotionally personal episode, Lindsay looks into the history and music of TLC, in particular her fascination and admiration for rapper Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Lopez. What starts out as a look at the group’s highs, lows and whatever the hell you call someone burning down a house, it suddenly shifts at the end to an extremely tender revelation from Lindsay about not only the unfortunate passing of Left Eye but also the then-recent death of Amy Winehouse. Good God, the feels on this thing are immense, just hearing her pour her heart and soul out about not only their deaths but also that of a friend’s that ties into the events going on. Got to admit, I’m getting a little weepy-eyed just writing about this thing.

#3: Nostalgic Foods Of Yore

This is basically a head-on collision between nostalgias past and present, as no less than Mara friggin’ Wilson, Matilda herself, sits in as Lindsay and Nella partake in some of the more ill-advised snack foods of their youth. It’s essentially a Tries video at its core, so most of the enjoyment is gotten out of the reactions to some of the stuff (Mara in particular has some great quips here), but just the mere existence of this video that unites two things that were seriously important to my personal upbringing (Matilda and Internet critics) in such a way is just amazing to me. Yeah, they had worked together on Lindsay’s review of Matilda before, but this is the one that is more fun to watch at the end of the day. Also, be warned: There’s a Lady And The Tramp re-enactment that may just destroy your childhood if you remember her child acting to any degree.

#2: Ender’s Game

As someone who has spent an inordinate amount of time advocating for the separation of the art from the artist, it’s little surprise that a video discussing exactly that would score major points with me. She goes over the titular book, written by quite prominent homophobe Orson Scott Card, and discusses how one’s personal views may or may not affect one’s work and others’ enjoyment of it. It may date the discussion by tying it into the Chik-fil-A debacle along similar lines, but her going over the moral implications next to a want for decent product makes it a worthy addition to what is already a very understandable perspective on the matter.

#1: Freddy Got Fingered

After my last Top 20 list, this pick should come as no real surprise but, yeah, the big collab between Lindsay and Kyle is the #1 choice. Going against the usual standards for Kyle’s crossovers, Lindsay manages to match him for analytical prowess as she mingles her own youth watching/listening/beholding Tom Green on MTV with her look at how… wat the film is as a whole. Kyle’s attempts to contextualize the film as a darker subversion of the usual Adam Sandler fare make some degree of sense, but at the end of the day, it just ain’t good. Kyle’s cry of “It’s too normal to be Dada! It’s too shit to be anything else!”, coupled with the… awkward situation he finds himself in at the time, is amazing and the finale, featuring how Lindsay and Kyle take out their aggression at the film, is painfully hilarious.

Next time, we'll be looking at a book that looks into just how intentionally bad a writer can take things, all done by a person that may or may not even exist.