Hellboy (2019) - Movie Review

Well… this is going to be interesting. After being stuck with the flu for the past several days, I’m finally getting around to what is already being heralded as one of the worst comic book movies ever made. Oh, the joys of critical hyperbole. Not to say that this film doesn’t have its issues but, compared to some of the worser flicks I’ve covered on here like Fant4stic, Venom and even Justice League, this doesn’t even come close.

Avengers: Endgame (2019) - Movie Review

Well… here we are. After 11 years, 21 films, over 18 billion dollars in box office receipts and twice as many geekgasms, we have reached the finale of this chapter of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It’s been a long journey, and while part of me is excited for what's in store for this finale, there's still a lingering problem here: How in the actual fuck am I supposed to write a review for this thing?

Wonder Park (2019) - Movie Review

This film has no credited director. No, this hasn’t confirmed everyone’s suspicions that computers are now making films all on their own, nor is this a situation where the director disowned the production for one reason or another. In reality, it seems like the production disowned the director, citing "multiple complains of 'inappropriate and unwanted behaviour'" for him being fired in January 2018, after the majority of the film was already completed. While someone with Weinstein tendencies helming a children’s film is dicey to say the least, I will give some credit to Paramount and Nickelodeon for booting his credit from the film, while still releasing it so everyone else’s hard work didn’t go to waste. It also helps that this film is certainly better than I would’ve expected from that kind of production drama.

Pet Sematary (2019) - Movie Review

While it didn’t get a lot of love back in the day (and judging by reactions to today’s film, that feeling persists), Mary Lambert’s Pet Sematary is a fucking great horror flick and one of the better Stephen King adaptations. Having King himself penning the screenplay certainly helped, but as a look at how people react to grief and why it is vitally important to come to terms with that grief, it is a seriously intense ride, if an occasionally goofy one.

I’d argue the point in remaking the story in the first place, but considering the recent crop of King adaptations and their combined consistency, I’m not entirely against the idea. Hell, this one has an uncredited David Kajganich working on the script, and given how well he did with last year’s remake of Suspiria, this could turn out good. However, as I’m about to get into, this film ends up being a mish-mash of underperforming, overperforming and just outweirding the original and not all in good ways.

Little (2019) - Movie Review

This is gonna be somewhat of a redemptive piece for me, since technically, I should have seen this movie already. I was supposed to see this movie earlier in the week for FilmInk, but due to… well, let’s be honest, me screwing up, I didn’t get to the preview screening. This isn’t going to be in any official capacity, and I do try and watch every movie I can anyway, but out of a sense of professional pride (stop laughing), I had to get this film out of the way first.

That said, having now sat through this, I can’t help but be a little thankful that I missed out the first time around because, if I went to the preview screening, I likely would’ve sent my editor a page covered in my own arterial spray as my write-up. Yes, I type out all of my reviews, but trust me, I would’ve found a way to do that regardless because that is how painful this thing is to sit through.

Why I'm Not Reviewing Shazam! (2019)

I’m not reviewing this movie. I’m not watching this movie at the cinema. I’m likely to never go near this movie at all. Yep, for the first time in this blog’s history, I’m instating an official boycott for a movie. Wonder Wheel and Underworld: Blood Wars may have gotten me in the mindset of boycotting whatever came next, but this is the first time I’ve actively done so. The reason why is both complicated and rather depressing, so let’s try and go into this as even-handedly as possible.

Us (2019) - Movie Review

This review is going to be quite different from what I usually write on here. As much as I try and refrain from tooting my own horn, I often pride myself on being able to dissect a film in real time as I’m watching it, turning these reviews into a glimpse at how I see a given film and its ideas. However, that only works for the films that make an immediate impact, the ones where what is being communicated is good, clear and foreshadowed early so I can latch onto it. Us is not that kind of movie.

Not to say that its own communication isn’t good, clear and foreshadowed; just that, as I’m writing this, I’m still trying to figure out what the actual ideas being presented are and what they amount to. So, as I get into this movie, know that I’m basically showing my working in an attempt to make heads or tails of this whole thing, so if this comes across as confused rambling, that’s only because it is.