No One Will Save You (2023) - Movie Review

This feels like the kind of flex every screenwriter-cum-director wants to make. After making his mark with some incredibly well-scripted efforts with The Babysitter, Love And Monsters, and even his directorial debut with Spontaneous, it looks like Brian Duffield wanted to show that he could tell a great story without even needing dialogue. And indeed, this is a film about a largely-mute protagonist who says all of one line, and the rest of the cast are just as silent. As someone who has been growing to love Duffield’s cinematic work, I was definitely curious about how such a venture would shape out.

Insidious: The Red Door (2023) - Movie Review

Patrick Wilson is one of my favourite actors working today. Whether he’s fighting underwater King Arthur, stuck with late-career Katherine Heigl, or being the face of James Wan’s post-Saw horror catalogue, the man just seems to shine no matter where he goes. As such, the prospect of him making the transition to director has certainly got me intrigued, especially within a franchise that had already launched a major directing talent in Leigh Whannell. But as I look at his debut here, I can’t help but think he would benefit from having a completely different starting point, because this doesn’t really do him any favours.

Smile (2022) - Movie Review

cw: mental illness, suicide, trauma

Ever had someone tell you to cheer up when you’re not feeling happy? Maybe they’re someone close to you and you just got done explaining the hows and whys of you not feeling happy, or maybe it’s some complete rando who sees you looking a little glum out in public. But all the same, they see you in distress and think to say that you simply shouldn’t be so down, as if you had never thought of that as an option before.

It’s the kind of advice that is arguably well-intentioned… but there’s a certain effect that comes with it. At its best, it can feel like you’re not allowed to have your own feelings, your own reactions to what’s going on, and that you just need to stop whining and put on a happy face, if not for yourself than to at least not inflict your ‘bad vibes’ on others.

But at worst, especially when it comes packaged with that same person showing off how their own forced happy face looks, there’s something almost malevolent to it. You’re feeling bad, and here’s someone just… smiling at you. Wanting you to do the same, whether you feel like it or not. And if you live with a chronic mental health condition, where these moods are a regular part of your life, all that insistence to force that happy face can feed into the much darker companions that those conditions tend to magnetise. You must be ‘normal’… or else. Or else what?

Men (2022) - Movie Review

I love fucked-up movies. To me, there are few feelings I love more than when I’ve just finished watching a movie, and my first instinct is to scream “What the fuck did I just watch?!” while sporting a massive grin on my face. I’ve looked at quite a few films on this blog that have genuinely gotten that reaction out of me, like The Greasy Strangler, Malignant, Where The Dead Go To Die, and Titane, and the experiences I had watching them for the first time are memories I hold onto quite closely. But when the latest film by Alex Garland, whose last two films were certified sci-fi king hits, popped up in a cinema close(ish) to me, I can’t say I was expecting it to join that illustrious collection. But sure enough, here we are.

Antlers (2021) - Movie Review

This film should’ve been an easy lay-up for someone like me. A Guillermo Del Toro produced creature feature about Indigenous mythology and the purpose of cultural storytelling. I know I can end up digging myself into my own navel with these kinds of topics, but I genuinely find them to be fascinating, so I was definitely curious to see how this film would turn out. Well, while it definitely has its points of interest, it also suffers from a real lack of focus that ends up hindering its juicier aspects.

Brahms: The Boy II (2020) - Movie Review

2016’s The Boy has gotten a bit of critical re-evaluation since its release. I am likely never going to understand why people would like something this hacky and undercooked, but I’m not so far up my own arse as to try and get between someone and actually liking something. Getting into a proper grievance about shit like that is one of the pettiest things a person can engage in, and I certainly don’t want to encourage it.

But with that said, yeah, I’m not a big fan of that film, nor of the film’s director William Brent Bell. I have made statements to the tune of him being an absolute hack and one of the most non-essential filmmakers in the modern horror scene, and even pitted him against fellow schlockmeister John R. Leonetti for the title of worst horror director working today. And for that… I honestly want to apologise. Because with Bell’s latest, he isn’t in competition with Leonetti anymore. He has straight-up won that fight.

Midsommar (2019) - Movie Review

It’s gotten to the point where I take my extended hobby of film critique so seriously that I’ve come to regard films I'm not able to nail down from a single viewing as films that bested me. That defeated me. That managed to break my usual one-and-down reviewing format and took me a second viewing to understand the kind of genius I'm dealing with. Ari Aster's Hereditary is one of those films for me.

It is seriously one of the best horror films of all time, and one I retroactively consider to be in the top 5 for the best films of 2019. It admittedly took a certain YouTuber’s hot take for me to properly get my head around it (link here for said hot take; she explains it far better than I can), but it also turned into a rather humbling experience overall. I don’t plan on making the same mistake twice, however, so as I take a look at Ari Aster’s follow-up, I’m going to give it its full due.

Rambo: Last Blood (2019) - Movie Review

Rambo is one of the most classic action franchises of all time. It is seriously weird thinking about just how influential the first two entries are, setting the tone for a lot of action cinema to come out of post-Vietnam America. The first remains one of the most brutal depictions of PTSD to make it to the big screen, and the second basically set the blueprint for every jungle-set military action-thriller to come after, up to and including the also-highly-influential Predator.

The third film… exists, and even as someone who takes pride in recollecting pop culture minutiae, I can barely remember anything about it. Then there was Rambo ’08, which boosted the gore standard in a way that, given what it was depicting, must’ve hit close to home considering it went on to inspire real-life Burmese freedom fighters. Following any of that up was gonna be a hard ask, and what we get here is… complicated.

Una (2017) - Movie Review

The plot: Una (Rooney Mara) tracks down Ray (Ben Mendelsohn) to his workplace. As they talk, they discuss their past history together, how their lives turned out since they last spoke, and how Ray was in a sexual relationship with Una when she was only 13 years old. However, whatever Una’s reasons for wanting to see Ray again, it seems that she is driven by more than just anger.

Flatliners (2017) - Movie Review

Even though history doesn’t exactly carry that much regard for filmmaker Joel Schumacher, I can’t help but think that his legacy has been unfairly discarded. Most remember him for the legendary failure that is Batman & Robin, and it’s honestly the kind of film designed to destroy careers in the first place, but the guy’s body of work stretches far beyond that. Me personally, while his more silly tendencies do factor into a lot of the guy’s films, when he indulges in his darker sensibilities, he is un-goddamn-touchable. From the look into self-induced paranoia of The Number 23 to his examination of the sex industry and the darkness within with 8MM, right down to Falling Down, a film I genuinely think changed my larger worldview for the better after first watching it. Basically, the guy either makes really good dark cinema or really cheesy cinema; he’s far better at the former than the latter.

 

One such example of this is the original Flatliners, a film that, once it found a consistent tone, made for good psycho-thrills; you can probably guess already what draws me to this guy’s filmography. Of course, knowing the track record for sequels-masquerading-as-remakes, learning about today’s film made my heart sink a little bit. But hey, maybe there’s another surprise in store for us; after all I’ve covered this year, I wouldn’t put it past anyone to succeed against the odds. Take a deep breath, like it could be your last, and let’s get started.

Split (2017) - Movie Review

Whether you’re a fan of archetypal slasher films, classic gothic horror, anarchic muscle-heads beating the crap out of each other or giant green dudes fuelled by the urge to smash things, chances are that you’ve run into a depiction of a character with multiple personalities, or Dissociative Personality Disorder as it is known today. Now, even talking about this condition is a tough order because it is easily one of the most contested mental disorders in medical circles (as well as circles where people think they know medical details) and a large number of us are still sceptical that it is even real. Me personally, knowing the myriad of diagnoses I’ve been given over the years, I don’t think I’m in any kind of position to question another person’s mental state so don’t be expecting any attempts at trutherism here. Instead, we’re going to looking at the latest film which happens to revolve around this condition, written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan. After the success of The Visit, I’m far less shitscared of that statement than I would have been 5-10 years ago.