Cobweb (2023) - Movie Review

Already on a renewed hot streak thanks to Joy Ride and Mutant Mayhem, Point Grey Pictures have decided to stretch out into new territory by backing a straight-up horror movie. As a fan of Rogen and Goldberg’s work behind the scenes, I’m certainly curious about what such a thing would look like, especially since comedians seem to do well when they embrace their scary side (just look at Jordan Peele). Sure, this is written by Chris Thomas Devlin, who shat out Texas Chainsaw Massacre last year, but hey, I'm open to the possibility of improvement.

The Curse Of Bridge Hollow (2022) - Movie Review

Okay, I’ll be honest, my brain still feels cooked after looking at Neptune Frost, so I’m going for something a bit simpler to digest here. As per usual, I’m going by the names attached to this thing first and foremost, and this has got some doozies. Director Jeff Wadlow, who is to horror what a Big Mac is to a toilet seat, and star Marlon Wayons, who seems to be gunning for Tyler Perry’s thronemade of human shame. Add to that writer Todd Berger, whose work on The Happytime Murders had its moments that were ultimately let-down by the basic-bitch approach to its core genre, and I’ll admit that I’m not expecting great things from this. But let it be said I genuinely checked this out in good faith, as I have a lot of space in my heart for film creatives being able to redeem themselves for past failures; I am nothing if not hopeful. And while I can’t say that this isn’t quite that good, it’s still a hell of a lot better than I was anticipating.

Terrifier 2 (2022) - Movie Review

Art The Clown (David Howard Thornton) might be one of the greatest slasher villains ever. Like, legit, this creation is something special for modern horror. He’s like a cross between Charlie Chaplin and Crazy Joe Davola; this murderous mime that shows more personality just through gestures and facial expressions than a lot of main characters in other horror films. And over the last several years, his creator Damien Leone has been slowly but surely building up this new face, from short films, to anthology wraparounds for short films, to starring in his own solo feature. A solo feature that turned out pretty damn good, all things considered, and with its follow-up on limited release in cinemas… hell yeah, I was going all-in with this. But even though there’s certainly a lot to like about it, I have to admit that I prefer the first film over this one.

Hubie Halloween (2020) - Movie Review

After Adam Sandler failed to get a nomination for his work on Uncut Gems (and it really speaks to the quality of that performance that it even qualified as a ‘snub’), he went viral with threats that he would go on to make, intentionally, the worst movie ever out of spite. With how much of a critical punching bag he remains to be, it’s quite easy to make jokes about how this is likely the first time he’s given warning for his latest film being terrible… but no. No, I’m not going that route. Instead, I’m going to point out how that kind of self-aware, not-really-taking-itself-seriously humour is actually a pretty good lead-up to yet another solid starring role.

Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark (2019) - Movie Review

When it comes to genre films (AKA the stuff that the Oscars consistently overlooks), one of the most common retorts is to put down its status as fiction. Or, more accurately, its place as fiction that takes a further suspension of disbelief than others. It can be about ghosts, ghouls, robotic zombies, time travel, Danny Huston playing a character that you don’t want to punch in the face; some things are just too much for others to buy into.

And even as someone who leans in hard when it comes to speculative fiction, to an extent, I get that mentality. But what that tends to leave out is the notion that stories like that, even the most fantastical, are influenced by reality. Sometimes, fiction is the only way to externalise very real, very dark, very serious thoughts and feelings. And it is here where this film shines.

Top 20 Best Films Of 2018

2018 was a fucking great year for movies. Not only that, it felt like there was some unified intent in the collective unconscious to finally get shit right, revising and correcting whole swathes of cinematic history in its wake. I could have made this a Top 40 list, and it still would’ve involve making some painful cuts because the best the year had to offer was just that damn good. Time for one last trip in reminiscence as I look at my picks for the top 20 best films of 2018.

Top 20 Angry Video Game Nerd Episodes

Even though the history of film criticism as a whole crosses so many continents and ideals and theories that it would take far too long to sum it all up in a single post, how exists within the realms of YouTube is, surprisingly, really easy to pin down. I say this because it basically all comes back to the one I’m talking about today: The man who decided to craft a several-year-long joke about just how seriously a person can take it when a video game is… less than pristine, let’s say. Even amongst his contemporaries, you can see the influence of this vitriolic foul-mouthed guy with a Jersey accent in their work. So, since this is my dedication to my critical influences, it’d be ridiculous if I didn’t highlight the grandfather of the modern video review. These are my picks for the Top 20 episodes of the Angry Video Game Nerd.

Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014) - Movie Review

Before getting into this latest iteration of one of the most popular horror franchises of this generation, let's quickly get into what came before it. The first one was good, the second was even better and the third, while decent, wasn't as good as the other two. In all three, I loved the thick eerie atmosphere, and yeah they are pretty jump-scare heavy but I personally really liked them. Then I watched PA 4, which ended up being a crushing disappointment and easily one of the worst films of the year. After all that, I was very hesitant to check out this spin-off of the franchise, but I eventually gave it a go.